¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What\'s good about the place where you were born?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¸°
2024-08-12 1194

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I was born in Seoul, but I've been live in illsan. So I want to say good things about illsan. First there are many parks and lakes that I can walk around. Especially the lake park named ÀÏ»êÈ£¼ö°ø¿ø is best for me. Because i feel calm and refreshing whenever I walk there. Second I love a library near my house. That library is special for flower. So everyone can read lots of book regarding to flower. Also I like the space to read book. Lastly illsan is safe for me. I live here whole of my life. So atmosphere is good to me and l like the scent of here.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Lin!

Thank you for doing your homework. Have a good night!

~T. Divina^^

Here are some corrections:

1. I was born in Seoul, but I've been live in Illsan. 
>>I was born in Seoul, but I've been living in Illsan ever since. 

2. So, I want to say good things about Illsan. 
>>CORRECT!

3. First there are many parks and lakes that I can walk around. Especially the lake park named ÀÏ»êÈ£¼ö°ø¿ø is best for me. 
>>First, there are many parks and lakes that I can walk around. The lake park named ÀÏ»êÈ£¼ö°ø¿ø is especially the best for me. 

4. Because i feel calm and refreshing whenever I walk there. 
>>I feel calm and refreshed whenever I walk there.

5. Second I love a library near my house. 
>>Second, I love this library near my house. 

6. That library is special for flower. So everyone can read lots of book regarding to flower. 
>>This library specializes in flowers so everyone can read lots of books regarding flowers.

7. Also I like the space to read book. 
>>Also, I like the space to read a book. 

8. Lastly Illsan is safe for me. 
>> Lastly, Illsan is safe for me. 

9. I live here whole of my life. So atmosphere is good to me and l like the scent of here.
>>I have lived here my whole life, so the atmosphere is good for me. l also like the scent here.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140625 How does your weekend routine differ during different seasons of... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 710
140624 How can free time activities benefit both mental and physical... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 706
140623 What are the advantages and disadvantages of solo travel? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 705
140622 Do you believe in the power of taking breaks to recharge? How do... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 707
140621 What are some things you look for in a new place to call home? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 741
140620 How does saving money impact your future plans? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 713
140619 How does technology shape everyday life in South Korea? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 718
140618 Writing task: What activities do you want to explore? Why? ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 713
140617 Increasing the minimum wage would reduce poverty. ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 714
140616 When was the last time you felt proud of yourself? ±¸*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 694
140615 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 717
140614 homework ¾È*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 700
140613 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 571
140612 Konglish ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 726
140611 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 715
140610 Conversation with people of that country makes enrich their... ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 0
140609 homework ½Å*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-10-24 688
140608 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-24 614
140607 Some people say that humans are scarier than the most dangerous... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-10-24 651
140606 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-24 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04