¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What\'s good about the place where you were born?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¸°
2024-08-12 986

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I was born in Seoul, but I've been live in illsan. So I want to say good things about illsan. First there are many parks and lakes that I can walk around. Especially the lake park named ÀÏ»êÈ£¼ö°ø¿ø is best for me. Because i feel calm and refreshing whenever I walk there. Second I love a library near my house. That library is special for flower. So everyone can read lots of book regarding to flower. Also I like the space to read book. Lastly illsan is safe for me. I live here whole of my life. So atmosphere is good to me and l like the scent of here.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Lin!

Thank you for doing your homework. Have a good night!

~T. Divina^^

Here are some corrections:

1. I was born in Seoul, but I've been live in Illsan. 
>>I was born in Seoul, but I've been living in Illsan ever since. 

2. So, I want to say good things about Illsan. 
>>CORRECT!

3. First there are many parks and lakes that I can walk around. Especially the lake park named ÀÏ»êÈ£¼ö°ø¿ø is best for me. 
>>First, there are many parks and lakes that I can walk around. The lake park named ÀÏ»êÈ£¼ö°ø¿ø is especially the best for me. 

4. Because i feel calm and refreshing whenever I walk there. 
>>I feel calm and refreshed whenever I walk there.

5. Second I love a library near my house. 
>>Second, I love this library near my house. 

6. That library is special for flower. So everyone can read lots of book regarding to flower. 
>>This library specializes in flowers so everyone can read lots of books regarding flowers.

7. Also I like the space to read book. 
>>Also, I like the space to read a book. 

8. Lastly Illsan is safe for me. 
>> Lastly, Illsan is safe for me. 

9. I live here whole of my life. So atmosphere is good to me and l like the scent of here.
>>I have lived here my whole life, so the atmosphere is good for me. l also like the scent here.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135798 homework ÇÏ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-24 1180
135797 Describe one emotion you feel strongly about and explain why... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-23 524
135796 A favorite book character ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-23 561
135795 What was the most unusal food you have tried? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-23 3
135794 What do you think are the reasons why people want to be... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-03-23 805
135793 question and homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-23 915
135792 question and homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 606
135791 question and homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 959
135790 Who is the most beautiful person you know? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 0
135789 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 900
135788 Have you ever been stung by a jellyfish or a sea urchin? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 858
135787 homework 03.22 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 844
135786 Homework ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 938
135785 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 856
135784 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 503
135783 Is it expensive to stay or have a vacation in your city? Why or... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 861
135782 2023.03.22 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 1
135781 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 1
135780 How to keep a positive mindest when facing disappointments? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 866
135779 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04