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영작교정 게시판

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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

[HW]What body language would you like your country to adopt? Why?

작성자: 강*율
2024-08-08 885

회원님의 영작문

In my country, people rarely use direct words because koreans usually deliver their intention indirectly.
However, koreans usually express their thoughts in roundabout way, not with body language.
Therefore, I would like to adopt body language that deliver the gratitude and love to my country.
For example, in Italy, people express their love with the gesture sending kiss.
Also, I would like to adopt the body language that wish someone good luck.
When I was on a trip, I met the american gentleman in the airport during waiting at the airport because of the flight delay. It was a heartwarming memory that he wished me good luck with his finger crossed. Although we have different culture and use different language(we used English during conversation but still it was hard to understand perfectly), the bodylanguage delivered his kind message to me.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

It's wonderfully written, Linda! Your experience is enough proof that body language helps us understand and express our thoughts.-Faith-
In my country, people rarely use direct words because koreans usually deliver their intention indirectly.
>> In my country, people rarely use direct words because Koreans usually deliver their intention indirectly.
OR In my country, people rarely use direct language because Koreans often convey their intentions indirectly.
However, koreans usually express their thoughts in roundabout way, not with body language.
>> However, Koreans usually express their thoughts in a roundabout way, rather than through body language.
Therefore, I would like to adopt body language that deliver the gratitude and love to my country.
>> Therefore, I would like to adopt a body language that conveys gratitude and love to my country.
For example, in Italy, people express their love with the gesture sending kiss.
>> For example, in Italy, people express their love with the gesture sending a kiss.
Also, I would like to adopt the body language that wish someone good luck.
>> Also, I would like to adopt body language that wishes someone good luck.
When I was on a trip, I met the american gentleman in the airport during waiting at the airport because of the flight delay. 
>> When I was on a trip, I met an American gentleman at the airport while waiting due to a flight delay. 
It was a heartwarming memory that he wished me good luck with his finger crossed. 
>> It was a heartwarming memory that he wished me good luck with his fingers crossed. 
Although we have different culture and use different language(we used English during conversation but still it was hard to understand perfectly), the bodylanguage delivered his kind message to me.
>> Although we come from different cultures and speak different languages, and although we used English during the conversation (which was still somewhat difficult to understand perfectly), his body language conveyed his kind message to me.
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