¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Aside from financial reasons, why do we need to have a job?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*À±
2024-08-05 984

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



HAHAHA.... My answer is too long.....
Check the attached file, please.
Have nice a day!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Yun!
Do not be concerned if you make a long composition, that is preferable so you can optimize your writing practice.^__^ Keep doing a good homework~
Chammy
There are many reasons. But I think big three reasons.
OR
>> There are numerous reasons but I think of 3 major reasons.
First, because of the social atmosphere.
In Korea, people have a clear set of things to do for each age, and if they are not doing what they have to do, they are viewed as strangers or as losers.
OR
>>People in Korea have specific tasks for every age bracket, and if they do not complete them, they are considered strangers or losers.
Moreover, most Koreans think that after graduating from university, men or women should have a job and they think that's natural. 
That's why more people have jobs because they don't want to be useless people and avoid negative perceptions.
Second, for personal challenges and objectives.
>>Correct
The meaning of having job means sociala life, and as people have jobs, they can try personal challenges and other objectives may araise.
>>The meaning of having a job means social life, and as people have jobs, they can try personal challenges and other objectives that may arise.
OR
>>The term "job" refers to a social life, and because people have work, they can try personal difficulties and pursue other goals.
 So, a job can be used as a method to perform everything.
>>Correct
In addition, according to the psycologist Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory, since the need for self-actualization is the highest desire, human instinctively strives for self-realization and self-satisfaction, so people naturally have jobs.
>> In addition, according to the psychologist Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory, since the need for self-actualization is the highest desire, human instinctively strives for self-realization and self-satisfaction, so people naturally have jobs.
Third, to live as an independent being.
>>Correct
Humans can't rely on their parents until they die, so they have to be independent on day.
>>Humans can't rely on their parents until they die, so they have to be independent one day.
In addition to economic independence, mental independence must be achieved, but in order to be independent of their parents and live as an independent entity in society, people have to have jobs.
>>Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139864 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 1
139863 home work ½Å*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 1086
139862 I like the conversation with the new person. ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 3
139861 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 2
139860 Describe a moment when you felt truly proud of yourself. What... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 916
139859 Do you ever eat a midnight snack? What do you like to eat late... ¿À*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 889
139858 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 745
139857 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 985
139856 . À±*¹® ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 2
139855 How do you usually spend your Chuseok holiday? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 4
139854 Q) When you were a child, what did you want to grow up to be? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 0
139853 9/11(Wed) homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 892
139852 Homework ³ë*ö ÁøÇàÁß 2024-09-11 1098
139851 Homework^*^ ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 880
139850 Sadness ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 861
139849 What drink do you often have but best avoided? ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 906
139848 Do you think you can teach someone to be successful? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 710
139847 Can you describe an autumn day? µµ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 1097
139846 homework. ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 2
139845 Visit doctor ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 976

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04