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Aside from financial reasons, why do we need to have a job?

작성자: 이*윤
2024-08-05 546

회원님의 영작문



HAHAHA.... My answer is too long.....
Check the attached file, please.
Have nice a day!

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Yun!
Do not be concerned if you make a long composition, that is preferable so you can optimize your writing practice.^__^ Keep doing a good homework~
Chammy
There are many reasons. But I think big three reasons.
OR
>> There are numerous reasons but I think of 3 major reasons.
First, because of the social atmosphere.
In Korea, people have a clear set of things to do for each age, and if they are not doing what they have to do, they are viewed as strangers or as losers.
OR
>>People in Korea have specific tasks for every age bracket, and if they do not complete them, they are considered strangers or losers.
Moreover, most Koreans think that after graduating from university, men or women should have a job and they think that's natural. 
That's why more people have jobs because they don't want to be useless people and avoid negative perceptions.
Second, for personal challenges and objectives.
>>Correct
The meaning of having job means sociala life, and as people have jobs, they can try personal challenges and other objectives may araise.
>>The meaning of having a job means social life, and as people have jobs, they can try personal challenges and other objectives that may arise.
OR
>>The term "job" refers to a social life, and because people have work, they can try personal difficulties and pursue other goals.
 So, a job can be used as a method to perform everything.
>>Correct
In addition, according to the psycologist Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory, since the need for self-actualization is the highest desire, human instinctively strives for self-realization and self-satisfaction, so people naturally have jobs.
>> In addition, according to the psychologist Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory, since the need for self-actualization is the highest desire, human instinctively strives for self-realization and self-satisfaction, so people naturally have jobs.
Third, to live as an independent being.
>>Correct
Humans can't rely on their parents until they die, so they have to be independent on day.
>>Humans can't rely on their parents until they die, so they have to be independent one day.
In addition to economic independence, mental independence must be achieved, but in order to be independent of their parents and live as an independent entity in society, people have to have jobs.
>>Correct
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
133243 Do you enjoy family reunions? 권*지 완료 2023-12-15 4
133242 Why a driver become reckless 강*율 완료 2023-12-15 1
133241 Hoework 김*님 완료 2023-12-15 447
133240 Skin color 이*규 완료 2023-12-14 303
133239 Homework 김*서 완료 2023-12-14 2
133238 Homework 장*희 완료 2023-12-14 1
133237 What do you do at night that is different from during the day? 전*정 완료 2023-12-14 2
133236 IELTS TASK2(1) body2 and conclusion 최*몽 완료 2023-12-14 258
133235 IELTS TASK2(1) introduce and body1 최*몽 완료 2023-12-14 248
133234 IELTS TASK1 최*몽 완료 2023-12-14 1
133233 What toys did you really like when you were little, and why do... 윤*원 완료 2023-12-14 0
133232 homework 12.14 최*� 완료 2023-12-14 265
133231 Would you rather sleep late every day or get up early every... 송*우 완료 2023-12-14 226
133230 What\'s your thought on having 3 days of weekend and 4 weekdays? 오*혁 완료 2023-12-14 1
133229 Homework 김*숙 완료 2023-12-14 1327
133228 What can people do to stop cyber-bullying? 에*미 완료 2023-12-14 4
133227 How to be good at drawing? Provide at least three sentences... 임*호 완료 2023-12-14 0
133226 Do you think being a professional dancer would be a good job? 에*미 완료 2023-12-14 2
133225 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What would you... 앨* 완료 2023-12-14 0
133224 Homework 김*서 완료 2023-12-14 0

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