¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The greatest rock band in Korea

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2024-07-31 604

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think "Kim Changwan Band" is the greatest rock band in Korea.
Changwan Kim released his first album in 1977. He made his debut by forming a band "Sanwoollim" with his brothers.
Now he formed his own band in 2008, and still perform until these days.
I watched his stage at the rock festival last year. His performance was fantastic!

Also his songs has been loved by Korean regardless of age and gender.
Even though his hit songs were released from 1970s to 1980s, the people who are same age as me loves his songs.
I even learned his songs at the class when I was in elementary school!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning, Min!

Since you mentioned about Kim Changwan Band, I searched them in YouTube and listened to their live concert performance. You are right, they are superb! They would not last in the music business for many decades if they do not possess the X-factor. Maybe being with his brothers is one secrete to his continuous success.

Not only that, they have a wide range of songs from slow flow to rock and roll. Fans will definitely be into their rhythm and beat. I understand why their music is a hit to all generations and it is because of its timelessness. 

I notices that you enjoy writing about music. I hope that you can be a writer in music someday my means of English.

Below are a few grammar comments and suggestions. Analyze the forms and let them make you even better. Well done!

See you in class.

-T. Donna~

I think "Kim Changwan Band" is the greatest rock band in Korea.
>> Correct!

Changwan Kim released his first album in 1977. He made his debut by forming a band "Sanwoollim" with his brothers.
>> Correct! Very good sentences!

Now he formed his own band in 2008, and still perform until these days.
>> Now he formed his own band in 2008, and still performs until these days.
Or: Now he formed his own band in 2008, and still performs these days/  until today.

I watched his stage at the rock festival last year. His performance was fantastic!
>> Correct!

Also his songs has been loved by Korean regardless of age and gender.
>> Also his songs has been loved by Koreans regardless of age and gender.

Even though his hit songs were released from 1970s to 1980s, the people who are same age as me loves his songs.
>> Even though his hit songs were released from 1970s to 1980s, the people who are the same age as me love his songs.

I even learned his songs at the class when I was in elementary school!
>> I even learned his songs in class when I was in the elementary school!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132803 How would the world be different if everyone on the planet... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1
132802 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Do you think... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 2
132801 WRITING TASK: What are the benefits of buying expensive products? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 4
132800 Would you rather grow wings to fly or gills to breathe underwater ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 832
132799 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 793
132798 What do you think is the most important part of learning English... ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 4
132797 I\'ve worked at BBQ. ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1
132796 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1
132795 The cause of conflict ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 787
132794 In most countries, women live an average of five to six years... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 895
132793 Q. Do you think that productivity content on social media is... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 0
132792 Tell me about black even point. Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 786
132791 What do you think is the worst skin disease? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 913
132790 What would you do if guests ate something wrong involved with... Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 803
132789 Why do authorities in Korea are not allowed to bring guns with... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 2
132788 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 702
132787 Connection between a person\'s lifestyle and the duration of his... ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-27 709
132786 Never ling ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-27 1125
132785 What¡¯s the biggest threat to society, knowledge or ignorance? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-27 2
132784 One policy that I have failed to follow. ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-27 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04