¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The greatest rock band in Korea

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2024-07-31 243

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think "Kim Changwan Band" is the greatest rock band in Korea.
Changwan Kim released his first album in 1977. He made his debut by forming a band "Sanwoollim" with his brothers.
Now he formed his own band in 2008, and still perform until these days.
I watched his stage at the rock festival last year. His performance was fantastic!

Also his songs has been loved by Korean regardless of age and gender.
Even though his hit songs were released from 1970s to 1980s, the people who are same age as me loves his songs.
I even learned his songs at the class when I was in elementary school!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning, Min!

Since you mentioned about Kim Changwan Band, I searched them in YouTube and listened to their live concert performance. You are right, they are superb! They would not last in the music business for many decades if they do not possess the X-factor. Maybe being with his brothers is one secrete to his continuous success.

Not only that, they have a wide range of songs from slow flow to rock and roll. Fans will definitely be into their rhythm and beat. I understand why their music is a hit to all generations and it is because of its timelessness. 

I notices that you enjoy writing about music. I hope that you can be a writer in music someday my means of English.

Below are a few grammar comments and suggestions. Analyze the forms and let them make you even better. Well done!

See you in class.

-T. Donna~

I think "Kim Changwan Band" is the greatest rock band in Korea.
>> Correct!

Changwan Kim released his first album in 1977. He made his debut by forming a band "Sanwoollim" with his brothers.
>> Correct! Very good sentences!

Now he formed his own band in 2008, and still perform until these days.
>> Now he formed his own band in 2008, and still performs until these days.
Or: Now he formed his own band in 2008, and still performs these days/  until today.

I watched his stage at the rock festival last year. His performance was fantastic!
>> Correct!

Also his songs has been loved by Korean regardless of age and gender.
>> Also his songs has been loved by Koreans regardless of age and gender.

Even though his hit songs were released from 1970s to 1980s, the people who are same age as me loves his songs.
>> Even though his hit songs were released from 1970s to 1980s, the people who are the same age as me love his songs.

I even learned his songs at the class when I was in elementary school!
>> I even learned his songs in class when I was in the elementary school!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139525 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 142
139524 What were mornings like in your house when you were a kid? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 151
139523 The popular kids in school ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 144
139522 Japanese ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 2
139521 Write about the importance of setting goals. How do personal... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 164
139520 Write about a time when you had to work in a team. ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 160
139519 27.Aug.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 0
139518 What are the things you provide for your loved ones? ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 161
139517 Think about a time when you struggled with procrastination on a... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 152
139516 Who do you think is the most beautiful person alive today? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 147
139515 Reflect on a time when you faced midweek challenges. How did you... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 142
139514 Q) Do you think ambience is important in restaurants? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 2
139513 Do you think children need to learn patience? How can parents or... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 155
139512 Regular customer ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 160
139511 If you could choose any weather for the perfect day off, what... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 138
139510 The reason why some people prefer imported products ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 5
139509 Do you think you should tip the staff in restaurants? Why or why... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-27 3
139508 HOMEWORK È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-08-27 0
139507 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-27 1
139506 HOMEWORK: Use these words in sentences. 1. Tour guide. 2. neck... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-27 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04