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The greatest rock band in Korea

작성자: 김*민
2024-07-31 2027

회원님의 영작문

I think "Kim Changwan Band" is the greatest rock band in Korea.
Changwan Kim released his first album in 1977. He made his debut by forming a band "Sanwoollim" with his brothers.
Now he formed his own band in 2008, and still perform until these days.
I watched his stage at the rock festival last year. His performance was fantastic!

Also his songs has been loved by Korean regardless of age and gender.
Even though his hit songs were released from 1970s to 1980s, the people who are same age as me loves his songs.
I even learned his songs at the class when I was in elementary school!

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good morning, Min!

Since you mentioned about Kim Changwan Band, I searched them in YouTube and listened to their live concert performance. You are right, they are superb! They would not last in the music business for many decades if they do not possess the X-factor. Maybe being with his brothers is one secrete to his continuous success.

Not only that, they have a wide range of songs from slow flow to rock and roll. Fans will definitely be into their rhythm and beat. I understand why their music is a hit to all generations and it is because of its timelessness. 

I notices that you enjoy writing about music. I hope that you can be a writer in music someday my means of English.

Below are a few grammar comments and suggestions. Analyze the forms and let them make you even better. Well done!

See you in class.

-T. Donna~

I think "Kim Changwan Band" is the greatest rock band in Korea.
>> Correct!

Changwan Kim released his first album in 1977. He made his debut by forming a band "Sanwoollim" with his brothers.
>> Correct! Very good sentences!

Now he formed his own band in 2008, and still perform until these days.
>> Now he formed his own band in 2008, and still performs until these days.
Or: Now he formed his own band in 2008, and still performs these days/  until today.

I watched his stage at the rock festival last year. His performance was fantastic!
>> Correct!

Also his songs has been loved by Korean regardless of age and gender.
>> Also his songs has been loved by Koreans regardless of age and gender.

Even though his hit songs were released from 1970s to 1980s, the people who are same age as me loves his songs.
>> Even though his hit songs were released from 1970s to 1980s, the people who are the same age as me love his songs.

I even learned his songs at the class when I was in elementary school!
>> I even learned his songs in class when I was in the elementary school!
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139135 Homework 류*우 완료 2024-08-13 2514
139134 Opinion of myself 이*규 완료 2024-08-13 1767
139133 Homework 권*미 완료 2024-08-13 1
139132 homework 안*진 완료 2024-08-13 4
139131 self introduction 김*일 완료 2024-08-13 1748
139130 My favorite movie 박*이 완료 2024-08-13 1651
139129 H.W 유*연 완료 2024-08-13 1
139128 2024.08.12 남*례 완료 2024-08-13 1560
139127 Is there a particular artist or band that has influenced your... 박*호 완료 2024-08-13 2074
139126 Vitamin 양*연 완료 2024-08-13 1767
139125 Are you a health-conscious person? Why or why not? 임*미 완료 2024-08-13 1550
139124 Many kinds of contemporary music 박*현 완료 2024-08-12 1520
139123 Homework 김*서 완료 2024-08-12 1
139122 How do you typically spend your weekends, and what do you... 신*규 완료 2024-08-12 1813
139121 Homework 김*우 완료 2024-08-12 0
139120 What\'s good about the place where you were born? 김*린 완료 2024-08-12 2123
139119 in the middle 민*정 완료 2024-08-12 1
139118 Homework 이*희 완료 2024-08-12 2
139117 homework 문*훈 완료 2024-08-12 1
139116 Have you ever done something silly that you wish you had not... 윤*원 완료 2024-08-12 3

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