¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The greatest rock band in Korea

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2024-07-31 322

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think "Kim Changwan Band" is the greatest rock band in Korea.
Changwan Kim released his first album in 1977. He made his debut by forming a band "Sanwoollim" with his brothers.
Now he formed his own band in 2008, and still perform until these days.
I watched his stage at the rock festival last year. His performance was fantastic!

Also his songs has been loved by Korean regardless of age and gender.
Even though his hit songs were released from 1970s to 1980s, the people who are same age as me loves his songs.
I even learned his songs at the class when I was in elementary school!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning, Min!

Since you mentioned about Kim Changwan Band, I searched them in YouTube and listened to their live concert performance. You are right, they are superb! They would not last in the music business for many decades if they do not possess the X-factor. Maybe being with his brothers is one secrete to his continuous success.

Not only that, they have a wide range of songs from slow flow to rock and roll. Fans will definitely be into their rhythm and beat. I understand why their music is a hit to all generations and it is because of its timelessness. 

I notices that you enjoy writing about music. I hope that you can be a writer in music someday my means of English.

Below are a few grammar comments and suggestions. Analyze the forms and let them make you even better. Well done!

See you in class.

-T. Donna~

I think "Kim Changwan Band" is the greatest rock band in Korea.
>> Correct!

Changwan Kim released his first album in 1977. He made his debut by forming a band "Sanwoollim" with his brothers.
>> Correct! Very good sentences!

Now he formed his own band in 2008, and still perform until these days.
>> Now he formed his own band in 2008, and still performs until these days.
Or: Now he formed his own band in 2008, and still performs these days/  until today.

I watched his stage at the rock festival last year. His performance was fantastic!
>> Correct!

Also his songs has been loved by Korean regardless of age and gender.
>> Also his songs has been loved by Koreans regardless of age and gender.

Even though his hit songs were released from 1970s to 1980s, the people who are same age as me loves his songs.
>> Even though his hit songs were released from 1970s to 1980s, the people who are the same age as me love his songs.

I even learned his songs at the class when I was in elementary school!
>> I even learned his songs in class when I was in the elementary school!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137445 What is your favorite subject in school? Why do you think so? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 157
137444 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 2
137443 homework ±è*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 1
137442 Perfect weather °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 247
137441 What challenges do people face when trying to become... ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 4
137440 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 193
137439 Essay in my facvorite movie Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 249
137438 : In what ways do you think your English skills have improved... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 229
137437 hw ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 1
137436 Would you consider hiring a housekeeper to do chores for you ? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 403
137435 Can you tell me a little about Incheon? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 2
137434 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 305
137433 2024.05.27 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 0
137432 Page.33 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 1
137431 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-26 2
137430 homework ±è*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-05-26 1
137429 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-26 213
137428 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-05-26 1
137427 Which country do you think is the best place to travel to? Why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-26 174
137426 Do you think MBTI is important? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-26 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04