¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The greatest rock band in Korea

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2024-07-31 1111

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think "Kim Changwan Band" is the greatest rock band in Korea.
Changwan Kim released his first album in 1977. He made his debut by forming a band "Sanwoollim" with his brothers.
Now he formed his own band in 2008, and still perform until these days.
I watched his stage at the rock festival last year. His performance was fantastic!

Also his songs has been loved by Korean regardless of age and gender.
Even though his hit songs were released from 1970s to 1980s, the people who are same age as me loves his songs.
I even learned his songs at the class when I was in elementary school!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning, Min!

Since you mentioned about Kim Changwan Band, I searched them in YouTube and listened to their live concert performance. You are right, they are superb! They would not last in the music business for many decades if they do not possess the X-factor. Maybe being with his brothers is one secrete to his continuous success.

Not only that, they have a wide range of songs from slow flow to rock and roll. Fans will definitely be into their rhythm and beat. I understand why their music is a hit to all generations and it is because of its timelessness. 

I notices that you enjoy writing about music. I hope that you can be a writer in music someday my means of English.

Below are a few grammar comments and suggestions. Analyze the forms and let them make you even better. Well done!

See you in class.

-T. Donna~

I think "Kim Changwan Band" is the greatest rock band in Korea.
>> Correct!

Changwan Kim released his first album in 1977. He made his debut by forming a band "Sanwoollim" with his brothers.
>> Correct! Very good sentences!

Now he formed his own band in 2008, and still perform until these days.
>> Now he formed his own band in 2008, and still performs until these days.
Or: Now he formed his own band in 2008, and still performs these days/  until today.

I watched his stage at the rock festival last year. His performance was fantastic!
>> Correct!

Also his songs has been loved by Korean regardless of age and gender.
>> Also his songs has been loved by Koreans regardless of age and gender.

Even though his hit songs were released from 1970s to 1980s, the people who are same age as me loves his songs.
>> Even though his hit songs were released from 1970s to 1980s, the people who are the same age as me love his songs.

I even learned his songs at the class when I was in elementary school!
>> I even learned his songs in class when I was in the elementary school!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139176 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 1
139175 Confidence ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 931
139174 What do you think is the most serious problem in the world? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 2
139173 Agust 12th homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 844
139172 8/14(Wed) homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 1236
139171 2024.08.14 ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 2
139170 homework ¹®*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 1
139169 What was your most memorable job interview experience? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 837
139168 How may we overcome laziness when dealing with an important... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 975
139167 Are parents who feed junk food to their children irresponsible? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 1000
139166 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 923
139165 I think about food °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 799
139164 nap ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 0
139163 What is the best part of your childhood? ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 962
139162 Can you describe a piece of music that has a special meaning to... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 1125
139161 Favorite TV program? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 1
139160 How do you respect the privacy of all the members of your family? Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 727
139159 How do you handle situations when a problem occurs? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 818
139158 When was the last time you\'ve been working so hard? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 1
139157 How can you compare South Korean and English culture? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04