¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The positive side of teen\'s curfew

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2024-07-30 351

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I'm Hana presenting the positive side of teen's curfew. If you are teen, do you have a curfew? If you have, are you satisfied with it? I think curfew is not only familiar with teens but also loathe. However, I think the curfew should exist because of lots of reasons.
First, curfew can protect teens from several crimes. Do you know the terrible crime incident in Korea which is called "Senseless Crime"? it is serious problem in Korea. Teens are exposed at this easily. So, if curfew applies for teens, the victim of crime incident will decrease.
Second, teens should learn discipline that they should obey in society. In society over the world, the discipline is natural for member of society. And I think the curfew is first step of discipline. If teens have a curfew, they will know why they should obey the rules and become easy to protect various rules in the world.
As you know, teens are very important members to maintain this society. So, we should protect them by using curfew.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! Thank you for this well-thought out response to the question. The world has become so dangerous that stricter rules become necessary to protect not only the youth, but humanity in general. Let us contribute to a safer society by doing our part of obeying rules. Let's talk again soon. See you!
--Teacher Anji


I'm Hana presenting the positive side of teen's curfew.
>> CORRECT
 If you are teen, do you have a curfew? 
>> CORRECT
If you have, are you satisfied with it?
>> CORRECT
 I think curfew is not only familiar with teens but also loathe. 
>>  I think curfew is not only familiar with teens but also among adults.
However, I think the curfew should exist because of lots of reasons.
>> CORRECT
OR >> However, I think curfew should exist for various reasons. 
First, curfew can protect teens from several crimes. 
>> CORRECT
Do you know the terrible crime incident in Korea which is called "Senseless Crime"? 
>> CORRECT
OR >> Do you know the terrible crime in Korea called the 'Senseless Crimes"?
it is serious problem in Korea. 
>> It is a serious problem in Korea. 
Teens are exposed at this easily.
>> CORRECT
OR >> Teens are vulnerable to this. 
So, if curfew applies for teens, the victim of crime incident will decrease.
>> So, if curfew is applied to teens, the victims of crime incidents will decrease.
Second, teens should learn discipline that they should obey in society. 
>> Second, teen should learn discipline and obey the rules in the society.
In society over the world, the discipline is natural for member of society. 
>> In societies all over the world. discipline among members is natural.
And I think the curfew is first step of discipline. 
>> And I think curfew is the first step of discipline. 
If teens have a curfew, they will know why they should obey the rules and become easy to protect various rules in the world.
>> If teens have curfews, they will know why they should obey the rules, hence, making it  easy to protect the various rules in the world.
As you know, teens are very important members to maintain this society. 
>> CORRECT
So, we should protect them by using curfew.
>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136901 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-02 1
136900 What problems do you encounter when you are not truthful? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-02 171
136899 About my future ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-02 293
136898 How do you feel if people gossip about you? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-02 235
136897 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-02 307
136896 2024.05.01 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-05-02 270
136895 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-02 154
136894 Homework ¼Û*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-02 269
136893 What decade has produced the best music? ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-02 166
136892 control ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-02 1
136891 Home ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-02 0
136890 Home ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-02 0
136889 Home ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-02 0
136888 HW ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-02 180
136887 What kinds of jobs interest you most and least? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-02 202
136886 HOMEWORK FOR 05.02.2024 WRITING TASK: Can you be angry without... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-02 4
136885 Real estate is the most beautiful property. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-05-02 239
136884 It\'s very difficult to help at no cost. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-05-02 315
136883 I don\'t respect anyone. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-05-02 330
136882 How does the government respond to and manage wildfires? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-02 159

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04