¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½É*Áø
2024-07-29 583

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What are your thoughts on the Korean tradition in which the wives of the first sons have to take charge of preparations for family rituals, such as ancestral worship on Chuseok?



it's unfailr women have to prepare alone.
Honestly, I think it's unfair. There's so much to do on the holidays.That's why women get sensitive coming on holidays.
When the holidays come, Korean women should go grocery shopping at the mart and make food two days ago.
plus we set up a table and hold a memorial service. When men eat after the ritual, they clean the table and wash the dishes.
That's why women travel abroad instead of holding ancestral rites these days. i want men have to help us a little .

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Mi Jin!

I'm sending your corrected essay homework. I appreciate your sending it. Please go over the corrections and alternative expressions provided.

Also, thank you for using the correct title for your homework. Speak to you tomorrow! 

Cheers,
Jean~~




                 What are your thoughts on the Korean tradition in which the wives of the first sons have to take charge of preparations for family rituals, such as ancestral worship on Chuseok?



it's unfailr women have to prepare alone.
>> It's unfair to women because they have to prepare everything by themselves. 

Honestly, I think it's unfair. 
>> CORRECT~~

There's so much to do on the holidays.
>> There's so much to do on holidays, such as Chuseok in particular. 

That's why women get sensitive coming on holidays.
>> That's why women become sensitive when holidays are approaching. 

When the holidays come, Korean women should go grocery shopping at the mart and make food two days ago.
>> When the holidays come, Korean women should go grocery shopping at the mart and make food two days early.

plus we set up a table and hold a memorial service. When men eat after the ritual, they clean the table and wash the dishes.
>> Plus, we set up a table and arrange a memorial service. When men eat after the ritual, they clean the table and wash the dishes.

That's why women travel abroad instead of holding ancestral rites these days. i want men have to help us a little .
>> OR: That's why women travel abroad instead of holding ancestral rites these days. Hence, I hope men can give women a hand on these occasions. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133740 What does a perfect weekend look like to you? Á¤*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 0
133739 1/4 homework ³ë*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 3
133738 Homework : unit 18 ¹Ú*³ª ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 5
133737 What I did on last Saturday ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 375
133736 How do you feel when you think you are not prepared for... ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 1
133735 What is the happiest moment that you have experienced with your... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 298
133734 8.Jan homework do*eun ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 243
133733 homework 01.08 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 225
133732 Homework ÇÏ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 1
133731 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 2
133730 Turning me off ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 392
133729 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 97
133728 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 384
133727 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 290
133726 homework °ø*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 244
133725 HAHAHA- My homework\'s late! ;) À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 232
133724 I think it\'s safe to think alone and avoid topics that can be... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 331
133723 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 555
133722 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \\\\ ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 3
133721 What is the most difficult part of studying English? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04