¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½É*Áø
2024-07-29 1020

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What are your thoughts on the Korean tradition in which the wives of the first sons have to take charge of preparations for family rituals, such as ancestral worship on Chuseok?



it's unfailr women have to prepare alone.
Honestly, I think it's unfair. There's so much to do on the holidays.That's why women get sensitive coming on holidays.
When the holidays come, Korean women should go grocery shopping at the mart and make food two days ago.
plus we set up a table and hold a memorial service. When men eat after the ritual, they clean the table and wash the dishes.
That's why women travel abroad instead of holding ancestral rites these days. i want men have to help us a little .

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Mi Jin!

I'm sending your corrected essay homework. I appreciate your sending it. Please go over the corrections and alternative expressions provided.

Also, thank you for using the correct title for your homework. Speak to you tomorrow! 

Cheers,
Jean~~




                 What are your thoughts on the Korean tradition in which the wives of the first sons have to take charge of preparations for family rituals, such as ancestral worship on Chuseok?



it's unfailr women have to prepare alone.
>> It's unfair to women because they have to prepare everything by themselves. 

Honestly, I think it's unfair. 
>> CORRECT~~

There's so much to do on the holidays.
>> There's so much to do on holidays, such as Chuseok in particular. 

That's why women get sensitive coming on holidays.
>> That's why women become sensitive when holidays are approaching. 

When the holidays come, Korean women should go grocery shopping at the mart and make food two days ago.
>> When the holidays come, Korean women should go grocery shopping at the mart and make food two days early.

plus we set up a table and hold a memorial service. When men eat after the ritual, they clean the table and wash the dishes.
>> Plus, we set up a table and arrange a memorial service. When men eat after the ritual, they clean the table and wash the dishes.

That's why women travel abroad instead of holding ancestral rites these days. i want men have to help us a little .
>> OR: That's why women travel abroad instead of holding ancestral rites these days. Hence, I hope men can give women a hand on these occasions. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138411 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 1
138410 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 0
138409 If you were a song, what song would you be and why? ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 675
138408 Can you describe a piece of music that has a special meaning to... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 780
138407 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 672
138406 Parent and children ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 902
138405 2024.07.09 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 605
138404 Today\'s my homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 599
138403 Today\'s my homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 693
138402 Today\'s my homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 541
138401 Today\'s my homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 612
138400 Do you think electricity is the greatest invention ever? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 717
138399 2024.07.10 ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 1
138398 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 547
138397 Advertisment ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 2
138396 How should one respond to questions during an interview? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 637
138395 What are some rude gestures in your country? ¼Û*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 657
138394 nervous ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 1
138393 New Invention ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 3
138392 Page.13 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-10 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04