¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½É*Áø
2024-07-29 997

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What are your thoughts on the Korean tradition in which the wives of the first sons have to take charge of preparations for family rituals, such as ancestral worship on Chuseok?



it's unfailr women have to prepare alone.
Honestly, I think it's unfair. There's so much to do on the holidays.That's why women get sensitive coming on holidays.
When the holidays come, Korean women should go grocery shopping at the mart and make food two days ago.
plus we set up a table and hold a memorial service. When men eat after the ritual, they clean the table and wash the dishes.
That's why women travel abroad instead of holding ancestral rites these days. i want men have to help us a little .

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Mi Jin!

I'm sending your corrected essay homework. I appreciate your sending it. Please go over the corrections and alternative expressions provided.

Also, thank you for using the correct title for your homework. Speak to you tomorrow! 

Cheers,
Jean~~




                 What are your thoughts on the Korean tradition in which the wives of the first sons have to take charge of preparations for family rituals, such as ancestral worship on Chuseok?



it's unfailr women have to prepare alone.
>> It's unfair to women because they have to prepare everything by themselves. 

Honestly, I think it's unfair. 
>> CORRECT~~

There's so much to do on the holidays.
>> There's so much to do on holidays, such as Chuseok in particular. 

That's why women get sensitive coming on holidays.
>> That's why women become sensitive when holidays are approaching. 

When the holidays come, Korean women should go grocery shopping at the mart and make food two days ago.
>> When the holidays come, Korean women should go grocery shopping at the mart and make food two days early.

plus we set up a table and hold a memorial service. When men eat after the ritual, they clean the table and wash the dishes.
>> Plus, we set up a table and arrange a memorial service. When men eat after the ritual, they clean the table and wash the dishes.

That's why women travel abroad instead of holding ancestral rites these days. i want men have to help us a little .
>> OR: That's why women travel abroad instead of holding ancestral rites these days. Hence, I hope men can give women a hand on these occasions. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139149 Page 45 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 1
139148 Regret to eat oysters ±è*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 4
139147 8/14 writing task ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 5
139146 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 1
139145 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 6
139144 What do you look forward to nowadays? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 2
139143 [HW]How do you handle conflicts or disagreements with friends? °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 813
139142 increase tax ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 1
139141 The positive side on \" Is drinking milk healthy for humans? \" ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 790
139140 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 667
139139 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 2
139138 What¡¯s the scariest thing about oceans? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 796
139137 8/13(Tue) homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 1114
139136 How do you respect the privacy of all the members of your family? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 710
139135 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 980
139134 Opinion of myself ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 903
139133 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 1
139132 homework ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 4
139131 self introduction ±è*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 941
139130 My favorite movie ¹Ú*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-13 759

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04