¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

In your own opinion, what do you think are the factors that contribute to longevity (living a long t

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2024-07-29 318

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Longevity is influenced by a blend of genetic, lifestyle, and environmental factors. Firstly, genetics plays a significant role in determining lifespan. It also contribute to the incidence rate of diseases. Secondly, consuming a balanced diet can help prevent chronic disease such as heard disease, diabetes, and cancer. It is important to avoid smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, and other harmful behaviors as well. Moreover, stress management is key element which contribute to the longevity. Chronic stress can negatively impact health by increasing the risk of various diseases. Effective stress management techniques, such as meditation, mindfulness and hobbies can improve overall well-being. Lastly, A positive attitude and sense of purpose are associated with better health outcomes and longevity. Optimism and having meaningful goals can improve resilience and overall life satisfaction.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon Mr. Hwang! It's impressive how well you express yourself in writing too. You write in a clear and concise manner. At the same time, you're always willing to learn and better yourself, which is a great characteristic to have.
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Longevity is influenced by a blend of genetic, lifestyle, and environmental factors. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Firstly, genetics play a significant role in determining lifespan.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
It also contributes to the incidence rate of diseases.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Secondly, consuming a balanced diet can help prevent chronic disease such as heard disease, diabetes, and cancer. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
It is important to avoid smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, and other harmful behaviors as well. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Moreover, stress management is the key element which contributes to the longevity. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Chronic stress can negatively impact our health by increasing the risk of various diseases. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Effective stress management techniques, such as meditation, mindfulness and hobbies can improve overall well-being.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Lastly, a positive attitude and sense of purpose are associated with better health outcomes and longevity.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Optimism and having meaningful goals can improve resilience and overall life satisfaction.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138486 At what age do you think a person should be allowed to have a... ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-14 483
138485 What do you think is the best time for a kid to sleep? Explain. Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-14 493
138484 Do you think it is more important to make a lot of money or to... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-14 446
138483 HOMEWORK ÁÖ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-14 545
138482 HOMEWORK ÁÖ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-14 415
138481 HOMEWORK ÁÖ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-14 560
138480 What\'s the worst experience you ever had at a restaurant? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-14 4
138479 What type of media advertising do you like the most? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-07-14 0
138478 Do most people in your city care about fashion? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-07-14 0
138477 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-14 4
138476 What can foreigners do for fun in your hometown? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-07-13 548
138475 Is learning something new a waste of time? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-07-13 395
138474 What was your most memorable job interview experience? Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-07-12 567
138473 How may we overcome laziness when dealing with an important... Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-07-12 528
138472 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-12 514
138471 The most famous athlete ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-12 571
138470 Has your appearance ever made you feel bad all day? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-07-12 374
138469 In what ways are dogs helpful to humans? Explain. ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-12 568
138468 How may we overcome laziness when dealing with an important... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-12 460
138467 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-12 342

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04