¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

In your own opinion, what do you think are the factors that contribute to longevity (living a long t

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2024-07-29 312

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Longevity is influenced by a blend of genetic, lifestyle, and environmental factors. Firstly, genetics plays a significant role in determining lifespan. It also contribute to the incidence rate of diseases. Secondly, consuming a balanced diet can help prevent chronic disease such as heard disease, diabetes, and cancer. It is important to avoid smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, and other harmful behaviors as well. Moreover, stress management is key element which contribute to the longevity. Chronic stress can negatively impact health by increasing the risk of various diseases. Effective stress management techniques, such as meditation, mindfulness and hobbies can improve overall well-being. Lastly, A positive attitude and sense of purpose are associated with better health outcomes and longevity. Optimism and having meaningful goals can improve resilience and overall life satisfaction.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon Mr. Hwang! It's impressive how well you express yourself in writing too. You write in a clear and concise manner. At the same time, you're always willing to learn and better yourself, which is a great characteristic to have.
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Longevity is influenced by a blend of genetic, lifestyle, and environmental factors. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Firstly, genetics play a significant role in determining lifespan.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
It also contributes to the incidence rate of diseases.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Secondly, consuming a balanced diet can help prevent chronic disease such as heard disease, diabetes, and cancer. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
It is important to avoid smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, and other harmful behaviors as well. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Moreover, stress management is the key element which contributes to the longevity. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Chronic stress can negatively impact our health by increasing the risk of various diseases. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Effective stress management techniques, such as meditation, mindfulness and hobbies can improve overall well-being.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Lastly, a positive attitude and sense of purpose are associated with better health outcomes and longevity.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Optimism and having meaningful goals can improve resilience and overall life satisfaction.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138622 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 3
138621 How do you try to find time for yourself and your loved ones... ±è*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 0
138620 HOMEWORK FOR 07.18.2024 WRITING TASK: What are some common... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 3
138619 What makes a good parent? Explain. ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 395
138618 Homework empty ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 5
138617 2024.07.19 ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 3
138616 July 17th homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 530
138615 Describe a photo or work of art in as much detail as possible. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 341
138614 Page.25 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 0
138613 joyride ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 0
138612 Adventage and disadventage of my generation ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 470
138611 Busan as a good vacation place in Korea. °­*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 546
138610 Homwork ÀÌ*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 0
138609 Homwork ½Å*Á¾ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 468
138608 HOMEWORK Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 475
138607 How do you feel about turbulence during a flight? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 415
138606 Is the traditional ways of behavior are no longer relevant to... Á¤*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 477
138605 What is the effect that animals/pets have on people to make them... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-19 3
138604 HOMEWORK ÁÖ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 354
138603 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 492

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04