¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

In your own opinion, what do you think are the factors that contribute to longevity (living a long t

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2024-07-29 233

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Longevity is influenced by a blend of genetic, lifestyle, and environmental factors. Firstly, genetics plays a significant role in determining lifespan. It also contribute to the incidence rate of diseases. Secondly, consuming a balanced diet can help prevent chronic disease such as heard disease, diabetes, and cancer. It is important to avoid smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, and other harmful behaviors as well. Moreover, stress management is key element which contribute to the longevity. Chronic stress can negatively impact health by increasing the risk of various diseases. Effective stress management techniques, such as meditation, mindfulness and hobbies can improve overall well-being. Lastly, A positive attitude and sense of purpose are associated with better health outcomes and longevity. Optimism and having meaningful goals can improve resilience and overall life satisfaction.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon Mr. Hwang! It's impressive how well you express yourself in writing too. You write in a clear and concise manner. At the same time, you're always willing to learn and better yourself, which is a great characteristic to have.
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Longevity is influenced by a blend of genetic, lifestyle, and environmental factors. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Firstly, genetics play a significant role in determining lifespan.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
It also contributes to the incidence rate of diseases.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Secondly, consuming a balanced diet can help prevent chronic disease such as heard disease, diabetes, and cancer. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
It is important to avoid smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, and other harmful behaviors as well. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Moreover, stress management is the key element which contributes to the longevity. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Chronic stress can negatively impact our health by increasing the risk of various diseases. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Effective stress management techniques, such as meditation, mindfulness and hobbies can improve overall well-being.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Lastly, a positive attitude and sense of purpose are associated with better health outcomes and longevity.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Optimism and having meaningful goals can improve resilience and overall life satisfaction.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139999 The pros of getting a prescription ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 42
139998 What are your retirement plans? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 45
139997 What are the things that you care less about now? How did your... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 43
139996 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 51
139995 What do you do when you see someone in danger? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 0
139994 Page 20. ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 0
139993 Sep 20th homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-22 53
139992 What do you like least about Chuseok? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-22 0
139991 Why do you think some people spend money on buying souvenirs... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-22 0
139990 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-22 2
139989 HOMEWORK È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-22 0
139988 Have you even seen falling stars? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-22 64
139987 HOMEWORK È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-22 65
139986 New features ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-21 84
139985 Homework ³ë*ö ÁøÇàÁß 2024-09-21 89
139984 No ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-09-21 49
139983 If you were President of Korea, what would you do to improve... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-21 0
139982 Homework_Day5 (Q. How do you find the best restaurants to eat... ·ù*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-21 95
139981 what is the most difficult things about learning english? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-21 101
139980 hello ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04