¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

In your own opinion, what do you think are the factors that contribute to longevity (living a long t

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2024-07-29 547

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Longevity is influenced by a blend of genetic, lifestyle, and environmental factors. Firstly, genetics plays a significant role in determining lifespan. It also contribute to the incidence rate of diseases. Secondly, consuming a balanced diet can help prevent chronic disease such as heard disease, diabetes, and cancer. It is important to avoid smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, and other harmful behaviors as well. Moreover, stress management is key element which contribute to the longevity. Chronic stress can negatively impact health by increasing the risk of various diseases. Effective stress management techniques, such as meditation, mindfulness and hobbies can improve overall well-being. Lastly, A positive attitude and sense of purpose are associated with better health outcomes and longevity. Optimism and having meaningful goals can improve resilience and overall life satisfaction.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon Mr. Hwang! It's impressive how well you express yourself in writing too. You write in a clear and concise manner. At the same time, you're always willing to learn and better yourself, which is a great characteristic to have.
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Longevity is influenced by a blend of genetic, lifestyle, and environmental factors. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Firstly, genetics play a significant role in determining lifespan.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
It also contributes to the incidence rate of diseases.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Secondly, consuming a balanced diet can help prevent chronic disease such as heard disease, diabetes, and cancer. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
It is important to avoid smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, and other harmful behaviors as well. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Moreover, stress management is the key element which contributes to the longevity. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Chronic stress can negatively impact our health by increasing the risk of various diseases. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Effective stress management techniques, such as meditation, mindfulness and hobbies can improve overall well-being.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Lastly, a positive attitude and sense of purpose are associated with better health outcomes and longevity.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Optimism and having meaningful goals can improve resilience and overall life satisfaction.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137765 HOMEWORK Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 863
137764 The important thing when buying something À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 771
137763 No need for charity? ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 822
137762 Do you think parents should encourage their kids to read books? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 0
137761 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 1
137760 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 1
137759 What are the dramas you wouldn\'t recommend others to watch? Why? ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 855
137758 2024.06.11 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 765
137757 homework 06.11 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 574
137756 A bad experience in a restaurant ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 11
137755 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 672
137754 Do you care what other people think of you? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 976
137753 Q) What are some common causes of stress? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 1
137752 06.10 Homework ÃÖ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 2
137751 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 764
137750 6/10 Home work Àå*ÈÞ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 2
137749 6/5 Home work Àå*ÈÞ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 2
137748 Gambling on sporting events ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 700
137747 HOMEWORK FOR 06.11.2024 WRITING TASK: How do you maintain a... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 3
137746 speaking task (day 1) ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 585

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04