¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Final remarks of \" Books are better than television

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2024-07-23 610

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I'm Hana presenting final remarks of "Books are better than television". I'm pleasant to present my own opinion.
First, why I think about that is on lots of example of genius who read vast books. He is Thomas Edison. I'm sure that you know about him. According to the Korea Educational Government Sites, Edison could become brilliant invention master by reading books. As you can see, if you read a lot of books, you can be great man like him.
Second, we can avoid to be a couch potato. By thesis, < A study on Styles and Determinants of Parental Televison Mediation in Korea> found that Children's television consumption and home learning were also found to be significant. Because growth of children is sensitive and important, it's necessary for children not to contact harmful things and it will be helpful to avoid a couch potato.
In conclusion, I finish my final remarks to present my opinion to use some reliable examples and thesis. Thank you for reading.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hannah! This is such a great piece! I like that you provided specific examples and studies to back your opinion. I agree that reading books help the development of children, but so does technology. Let us just be aware or the negative effects of such. Let us talk more again soon. See you!
--Teacher Anji



I'm Hana presenting final remarks of "Books are better than television". 
>> I'm Hana presenting my final remarks of "Books are better than television".
I'm pleasant to present my own opinion.
>> It's my pleasure to present my own opinion.
First, why I think about that is on lots of example of genius who read vast books. 
>> The first reason why I think about that are the geniuses who read vast variety of books.
He is Thomas Edison. 
>> CORRECT
I'm sure that you know about him. 
>> CORRECT
According to the Korea Educational Government Sites, Edison could become brilliant invention master by reading books.
>> According to the Korean Educational Government Sites, Edison was able to become a brilliant invention master by reading books.
As you can see, if you read a lot of books, you can be great man like him.
>>  As you can see, if you read a lot of books, you can be a great man like him.
Second, we can avoid to be a couch potato. 
>> Second, we can avoid  becoming a couch potato. 
By thesis,  A study on Styles and Determinants of Parental Televison Mediation in Korea, found that Children's television consumption and home learning were also found to be significant. 
>> A thesis entitled A study on Styles and Determinants of Parental Television Mediation in Korea, found that children's television consumption and home learning were  found to be significant.
Because growth of children is sensitive and important, it's necessary for children not to contact harmful things and it will be helpful to avoid a couch potato.
>> Because the growth of children is sensitive and important, it's necessary for children not to make contact with harmful things and it will be helpful to avoid being a couch potato.
In conclusion, I finish my final remarks to present my opinion to use some reliable examples and thesis. Thank you for reading.
>> In conclusion, I end my remarks to present my opinion to use some reliable examples and thesis. Thank you for reading.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135435 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 3
135434 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 709
135433 How does social media affect teenagers\' self-esteem? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 1
135432 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Have you gone... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 1
135431 Which is more difficult, English grammar or your own language¡¯s... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 916
135430 If you have a big amount of money, what will you do about it? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 1294
135429 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 1286
135428 stand ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 1
135427 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 889
135426 What musical insterment is the most difficult to play? Why do... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 1703
135425 How can respect be shown towards people with different opinions... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 1391
135424 What is your ideal family structure? ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 773
135423 HOMEWORK - How can we avoid competition among students in school? ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 1130
135422 AI technologies ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 954
135421 Which social networking services do you use? What do you like or... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 965
135420 HOMEWORK FOR 03.12.2024 WRITING TASK: When was the last time you... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 3
135419 Wrong advice ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 802
135418 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 2
135417 What do you do to get the things that you desire? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 881
135416 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-03-11 888

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04