¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is your favorite hobby?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Èñ
2024-07-23 568

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I have a lot of habby. I like exercise, dance, swimming and watch you tuve. Also I like traveling. Avery day I go to fitness center take a powerrobics class for one hour. This class very exciting. Some times go swimming pool. Last month i went to trip to foreign country. I have the plan travel three or four times a year. Because I aleady retired so I am free. Hahaha

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

 Hi Eva,

Great job on your homework! It sounds like you have many fun hobbies. Exercise, dancing, swimming, and traveling are all wonderful ways to stay active and enjoy life. Your power aerobics class sounds exciting, and traveling three or four times a year must be very interesting. It must be wonderful to have the freedom to explore and do what you love after retirement. And although you do write well, here are a few tips for you to improve. First, check spelling and grammar to ensure words are spelled correctly and proper grammar is used. For example, "hobby" instead of "habby," and "already" instead of "aleady." Use complete sentences with a subject and a verb, like "Every day I go to the fitness center and take a power aerobics class for one hour." Stay consistent with tenses, such as "Last month, I went on a trip to a foreign country" instead of "Last month I went to trip to foreign country." Finally, organize your thoughts by grouping similar ideas together, such as discussing your exercise hobbies in one part and your travel experiences in another.

Keep enjoying your hobbies and exploring new activities!

 

I have a lot of habby.

>>I have a lot of hobbies.

I like exercise, dance, swimming and watch you tuve.

>>I like to exercise, dance, swim and watch YouTube.

Also I like traveling.

>>Also, I like traveling.

Avery day I go to fitness center take a powerrobics class for one hour.

>>Every day, I go to the fitness center to take a power aerobics class for one hour.

This class very exciting.

>>This class is very exciting.

Some times go swimming pool.

>>Sometimes I go to the swimming pool.

Last month i went to trip to foreign country.

>>I went to a foreign country last month.

I have the plan travel three or four times a year.

>>I plan to travel three or four times a year.

Because I aleady retired so I am free. Hahaha

>>Because I am already retired so I am free. Hahaha

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136464 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 698
136463 Places I have visited ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 702
136462 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 538
136461 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 820
136460 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 1
136459 homework 04.16 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 969
136458 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 1
136457 How do you like your career? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 848
136456 How do you believe getting enough sleep helps us be more... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 0
136455 Do you use English outside PowerEnglish? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 0
136454 What\'s the worst type of fashion you know? Write about it. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 473
136453 Please answer the following questions Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 1286
136452 What do people enjoy doing in parks in your country? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 4
136451 Reflect on the concept of \"self-improvement.\" What steps do... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 847
136450 Homework Á¶*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 1222
136449 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 752
136448 What major change would you like to make to your ? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 631
136447 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 481
136446 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 560
136445 What are the possible causes for having a vice? ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 496

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04