¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is your favorite hobby?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Èñ
2024-07-23 529

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I have a lot of habby. I like exercise, dance, swimming and watch you tuve. Also I like traveling. Avery day I go to fitness center take a powerrobics class for one hour. This class very exciting. Some times go swimming pool. Last month i went to trip to foreign country. I have the plan travel three or four times a year. Because I aleady retired so I am free. Hahaha

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

 Hi Eva,

Great job on your homework! It sounds like you have many fun hobbies. Exercise, dancing, swimming, and traveling are all wonderful ways to stay active and enjoy life. Your power aerobics class sounds exciting, and traveling three or four times a year must be very interesting. It must be wonderful to have the freedom to explore and do what you love after retirement. And although you do write well, here are a few tips for you to improve. First, check spelling and grammar to ensure words are spelled correctly and proper grammar is used. For example, "hobby" instead of "habby," and "already" instead of "aleady." Use complete sentences with a subject and a verb, like "Every day I go to the fitness center and take a power aerobics class for one hour." Stay consistent with tenses, such as "Last month, I went on a trip to a foreign country" instead of "Last month I went to trip to foreign country." Finally, organize your thoughts by grouping similar ideas together, such as discussing your exercise hobbies in one part and your travel experiences in another.

Keep enjoying your hobbies and exploring new activities!

 

I have a lot of habby.

>>I have a lot of hobbies.

I like exercise, dance, swimming and watch you tuve.

>>I like to exercise, dance, swim and watch YouTube.

Also I like traveling.

>>Also, I like traveling.

Avery day I go to fitness center take a powerrobics class for one hour.

>>Every day, I go to the fitness center to take a power aerobics class for one hour.

This class very exciting.

>>This class is very exciting.

Some times go swimming pool.

>>Sometimes I go to the swimming pool.

Last month i went to trip to foreign country.

>>I went to a foreign country last month.

I have the plan travel three or four times a year.

>>I plan to travel three or four times a year.

Because I aleady retired so I am free. Hahaha

>>Because I am already retired so I am free. Hahaha

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137096 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 352
137095 Do you love yourself? Is it important to love yourself? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 794
137094 Among those countries you\'ve visited, what custom or tradition... ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 0
137093 Describe yourself as a learner ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 2
137092 2024.05.10 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 0
137091 Aside from your work, what are the things that will make you... ±è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 645
137090 my thought about historical movies ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 701
137089 2024.05.09 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 595
137088 When someone invites you to a birthday, do you go there one time? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 876
137087 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 706
137086 May 8th\'s homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 562
137085 Some pieces of art sell for millions of dollars. Why are some... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 1
137084 Do you think that being a cabin crew is easier than being a chef? õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 2
137083 What are the latest trends in your country? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 4
137082 What situation will interrupt you from focusing on things? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 5
137081 Do you think the ambience is important in restaurants? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 479
137080 After the betrayal ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 445
137079 Describe a photograph you like ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 0
137078 What¡¯s the most challenging thing about having a pet? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 0
137077 Are you body conscious or health conscious? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-10 848

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04