¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Is better education the solution to increasing crime rate or more serious punishment? - simi

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2024-07-23 596

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to make a limit line. When someone crime, society can give them two times. At that time, they can have a educate. (But heavy criminal or kill will not have a chance.)
Ordinary people can make miss. we can give them two times. Not more than three times. Under two times, punishment will be light. However, if they over the line, educating for them is not necessary. they need hurricane punishment.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Mr. Sammy! Personally, I think these could all be applicable to countries with a good judicial system. Also, I'm curious about the 'hurricane punishment'. Hope you could t ell me further about it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
-T. Sonny
I want to make a limit line. 
>>I want to set a limitation.
When someone crime, society can give them two times. 
>>When someone commits a crime, the court would give them two chances.
At that time, they can have a educate. 
>>For that period, they would be educated.
(But heavy criminal or kill will not have a chance.)
>>(But for severe crimes or murder will not have a chance.)
Ordinary people can make miss. 
>>Ordinary people could fail.
we can give them two times. 
>>They would be given two chances.
Not more than three times. 
>>Not more than thrice.
Under two times, punishment will be light. 
>>If done less than twice, the punishment would be light.
However, if they over the line, educating for them is not necessary. 
>>However, if they exceed the limitation, education would not be necessary for them.
they need hurricane punishment.
>>What they need is a punishment as severe as a hurricane.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132930 WRITING TASK: What is the best way to avoid making mistakes? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-03 5
132929 Changes ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-03 4
132928 Public transport ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-03 3
132927 Help me....the introverted person.... °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-12-02 2
132926 How do you usually celebrate your birthday? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-02 2
132925 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-02 449
132924 From what age is it okay to start dating? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-12-02 440
132923 If you could spend Christmas anywhere in the world, where would... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-12-02 450
132922 What do you look forward to this December? ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-02 279
132921 How do you pick a restaurant to go eat at? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 623
132920 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 634
132919 Stress affects human health a lot. How do you manage youtr... ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 3
132918 homework 12.01 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 725
132917 My recent hobby ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 542
132916 Parties ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 1288
132915 What is your favorite part of where you live? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 273
132914 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 629
132913 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 900
132912 What¡¯s the worst possible meal you could imagine? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 4
132911 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Do you want to... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04