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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What are some reasons people enjoy diving?

작성자: 박*호
2024-07-23 932

회원님의 영작문

I don't enjoy diving because I'm afraid of heights, so I don't know the feelings of people who enjoy diving.
However, I think I can guess based on what I learned about it in class this morning.
Because divers jump into the water from a high place, they need strong courage to overcome fear, and if they overcome that fear and succeed in diving, they will be able to experience a very thrilling sense of accomplishment.
And based on that, They feel like they can gain confidence and escape from the stress of everyday life.
Also, if they practice consistently to become good at diving, they will be able to have great diving form and naturally stay healthy.
So some people seem to enjoy diving for the above reasons.
However, it would be better to avoid diving that is too dangerous because you shouldn't risk your life while enjoying the thrill.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hey there, Sun! 

People enjoy diving for its unique blend of adventure, tranquility, and discovery. It offers a chance to explore underwater worlds teeming with marine life and vibrant ecosystems that are otherwise inaccessible.

- Kristine ^^

 I don't enjoy diving because I'm afraid of heights, so I don't know the feelings of people who enjoy diving.
>> I have never dived because I'm afraid of heights, so I can't speak to others.
However, I think I can guess based on what I learned about it in class this morning.
>> Nevertheless, based on what I learnt this morning in class, I believe I can make a guess.
Because divers jump into the water from a high place, they need strong courage to overcome fear, and if they overcome that fear and succeed in diving, they will be able to experience a very thrilling sense of accomplishment.
>> Divers must have great courage to face their fears since they must jump into the water from a high point. If they do so and are successful, they will feel a tremendous sense of accomplishment.
And based on that, They feel like they can gain confidence and escape from the stress of everyday life.
>> They feel they may escape the stress of daily life and acquire confidence as a result.
Also, if they practice consistently to become good at diving, they will be able to have great diving form and naturally stay healthy.
>> Additionally, if they keep working on improving their diving skills, they will be able to maintain excellent form and good health.
So some people seem to enjoy diving for the above reasons.
>> For these reasons, it appears that certain people like diving.
However, it would be better to avoid diving that is too dangerous because you shouldn't risk your life while enjoying the thrill.
>> However, it's best to stay away from diving because it's too risky, you shouldn't jeopardize your life in order to experience the adrenaline rush.
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