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영작교정 게시판

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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Do you remember the first time you saw snow? How did you react?

작성자: 이*윤
2024-07-22 1107

회원님의 영작문

I saw snow for the first time when I was young.
I woke up and my mom told me "Santa gave you a present in advance, so check it out."
I was half asleep without knowing what I was talking about, so I rubbed my eyes and opened the curtains, but the whole area was covered in white snow, as if you were watching Frozen.
The first time I saw it was amazing and I liked it so much that I stuck to the window like a leech and shouted. And when I saw the children having fun outside, I quickly told my parents that I would go outside, and I went outside wearing thick clothes.
Like a puppy running crazing because it loves snows, I screamed and ran around with joy like Elsa and Anna.
I had a snowball fight with my friends and made a snowman.
Now that I think about it, the area I live in is located south of the other area, so the weather is warm, so it doesn't snow well, but it's a miracle that it snowed so much and a gift from heaven.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Yun!
Thank you for sharing your story. It makes me feel like I am reading a book for kids, hehehe~ I hope i can experience snow, too ^_^
Chammy
I saw snow for the first time when I was young.
I woke up and my mom told me "Santa gave you a present in advance, so check it out."
I was half asleep without knowing what I was talking about, so I rubbed my eyes and opened the curtains, but the whole area was covered in white snow as if you were watching Frozen.
The first time I saw it was amazing and I liked it so much that I stuck to the window like a leech and shouted. And when I saw the children having fun outside, I quickly told my parents that I would go outside, and I went outside wearing thick clothes.
Like a puppy running crazing, because it loves snows, I screamed and ran around with joy like Elsa and Anna.
I had a snowball fight with my friends and made a snowman.
Now that I think about it, the area I live in is located south of the other area, so the weather is warm, so it doesn't snow well, but it's a miracle that it snowed so much and a gift from heaven.
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