¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½É*Áø
2024-07-18 542

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Korean companies are similar to military life. If you're unlucky, your boss always give you hard work. You have to obey them.
And if you're not satisfied with it, you're in big trouble. they don't respect younger people opinion. and you should work very low salary
The employment rate is getting higher these days. What's interesting is that more and more people are quitting. because many people feel hard to adjust in their work .You shouldn't force the younger generation to do everything for the company all the time. I hate it, bosses should always think Employees' leisure and health.but they only think company profit

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello again, Mi Jin!

I'm sending you back your revised composition from yesterday's homework. I apprecaite your sending it. Please go over the corrections and alternative expressions provided. Enjoy the rest of your evening! 

Cheers,
Jean~~



                                      What are your thoughts on the Korean work culture?



Korean companies are similar to military life. 
>> CORRECT~~

If you're unlucky, your boss always give you hard work. You have to obey them.
>> If you're unlucky, your boss always gives you a difficult job and you have to obey his/her orders or demands.

And if you're not satisfied with it, you're in big trouble. 
>> And if the boss isn't satisfied with your work, you're in big trouble. 

they don't respect younger people opinion. and you should work very low salary
>> They don't respect younger people's opinions and the salary is very low. 

The employment rate is getting higher these days. What's interesting is that more and more people are quitting. because many people feel hard to adjust in their work .
>> The employment rate is getting higher these days but what's interesting is that more and more people are quitting their jobs because many of them find it hard to adjust to their work.

You shouldn't force the younger generation to do everything for the company all the time. 
>> The younger generation shouldn't be forced to do everything for the company all the time.

I hate it, bosses should always think Employees' leisure and health.but they only think company profit
>> I hate bosses who put company profit over employees' leisure and health. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140250 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-06 331
140249 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-06 415
140248 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-10-06 1
140247 What would a perfect weekend be like for you? IS you could have... Â÷*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-06 2
140246 Do you enjoy meeting new people? Why or why not? Â÷*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-06 2
140245 homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-06 517
140244 What was the most memorable weekend you had with your friends? ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-06 439
140243 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-05 2
140242 Imagine you have won ten million dollars. Who will you tell?... ¿À*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-10-05 335
140241 What qualities of a person do most people admire? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-05 2
140240 How would the world look if everyone had the same talents? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-10-04 385
140239 Proper Compulsiveness makes it better ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-04 224
140238 English grammar is difficult to me! ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-04 1
140237 Being physically attractive ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-04 418
140236 How do you balance hard work with other aspects of your life,... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-04 1
140235 What do you think about adopting pets from shelters? ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-10-04 466
140234 Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-04 256
140233 Should more people use public transport instead of cars or... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-10-04 366
140232 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-04 439
140231 What kind of people are less likely to suffer from stress or... ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-04 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04