¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you define success?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*Àº
2024-07-16 608

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I guess successful life means a life we can content. And for that, we need money for survival, good relationships and health and we need to live life that we think is right. I heard that good relationship is crucial for happiness and health is important to enjoy life well. Also if we live life that we feel wrong it will be hard to feel content. The reason people think of much money and high social status first when we talk about success is they are easy to measure and compare. It's easy to think "The reason I don't feel content is I don't have enough money and social status. I will be content if I have that much money and high social status." But I think that the real meaning of success is a life that we can content.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Seong Eun~
I believe our definition of success varies with age... But the last line in your composition is absolutely right... 
Chammy
I guess successful life means a life we can content. 
And for that, we need money for survival, good relationships and health and we need to live life that we think is right. 
>>Correct
I heard that good relationship is crucial for happiness and health is important to enjoy life well.
>>I heard that a good relationship is crucial for happiness and health to enjoy life well.
Also if we live life that we feel wrong it will be hard to feel content.
>>Also, if we live a life that feels wrong, it will be hard to feel content.
 The reason people think of much money and high social status first when we talk about success is they are easy to measure and compare. 
>>The reason why people often link success with wealth and high social status is because these factors are easily measured and compared.
It's easy to think "The reason I don't feel content is I don't have enough money and social status. I will be content if I have that much money and high social status." But I think that the real meaning of success is a life that we can content.
>>Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136527 What is your favorite Korean dish? Can you describe how it\'s... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 803
136526 If you can be a celebrity or influencer, which one do you want... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 752
136525 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 789
136524 What¡¯s the best hobby anyone could have? ÀÌ*Å ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 589
136523 2024.04.17 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 621
136522 HOMEWORK FOR 04.18.2024 WRITING TASK: What was the most... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 3
136521 HW ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 450
136520 If I leared playing basketball.. ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 765
136519 Do many young people in your country care about eating healthy? ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 839
136518 Write 5 sentences that would describe your personality. ±æ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 13
136517 In what ways do you think technology has influenced family... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 2
136516 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 713
136515 pitiful dogs ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 746
136514 What qualities do you think make someone a good firefighter, and... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 483
136513 Fraud ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 711
136512 17.Apr.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 1
136511 What are some benefits of switching to electric cars compared to... ±è*¿í ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 712
136510 Describe a person you know who is kind ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 0
136509 homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 692
136508 If you live far away from some members of your family, how do... ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-17 586

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04