¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you define success?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*Àº
2024-07-16 869

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I guess successful life means a life we can content. And for that, we need money for survival, good relationships and health and we need to live life that we think is right. I heard that good relationship is crucial for happiness and health is important to enjoy life well. Also if we live life that we feel wrong it will be hard to feel content. The reason people think of much money and high social status first when we talk about success is they are easy to measure and compare. It's easy to think "The reason I don't feel content is I don't have enough money and social status. I will be content if I have that much money and high social status." But I think that the real meaning of success is a life that we can content.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Seong Eun~
I believe our definition of success varies with age... But the last line in your composition is absolutely right... 
Chammy
I guess successful life means a life we can content. 
And for that, we need money for survival, good relationships and health and we need to live life that we think is right. 
>>Correct
I heard that good relationship is crucial for happiness and health is important to enjoy life well.
>>I heard that a good relationship is crucial for happiness and health to enjoy life well.
Also if we live life that we feel wrong it will be hard to feel content.
>>Also, if we live a life that feels wrong, it will be hard to feel content.
 The reason people think of much money and high social status first when we talk about success is they are easy to measure and compare. 
>>The reason why people often link success with wealth and high social status is because these factors are easily measured and compared.
It's easy to think "The reason I don't feel content is I don't have enough money and social status. I will be content if I have that much money and high social status." But I think that the real meaning of success is a life that we can content.
>>Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138144 HOMEWORK Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-28 823
138143 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-28 1585
138142 During summer vacation ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-28 2
138141 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-28 0
138140 How does jealousy affect people? Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 1611
138139 What do you think is the best painting in the world? Why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 892
138138 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 2
138137 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 0
138136 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 0
138135 What do you think is the most beautiful song in the world? Why? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 972
138134 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 0
138133 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 2
138132 2024.06.26 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 1049
138131 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 3
138130 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 1
138129 Q) What do you think is the hardest thing about being a father? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 1
138128 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 1119
138127 insurance agent ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 1
138126 HOMEWORK ÁÖ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 792
138125 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 761

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04