¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you define success?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*Àº
2024-07-16 432

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I guess successful life means a life we can content. And for that, we need money for survival, good relationships and health and we need to live life that we think is right. I heard that good relationship is crucial for happiness and health is important to enjoy life well. Also if we live life that we feel wrong it will be hard to feel content. The reason people think of much money and high social status first when we talk about success is they are easy to measure and compare. It's easy to think "The reason I don't feel content is I don't have enough money and social status. I will be content if I have that much money and high social status." But I think that the real meaning of success is a life that we can content.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Seong Eun~
I believe our definition of success varies with age... But the last line in your composition is absolutely right... 
Chammy
I guess successful life means a life we can content. 
And for that, we need money for survival, good relationships and health and we need to live life that we think is right. 
>>Correct
I heard that good relationship is crucial for happiness and health is important to enjoy life well.
>>I heard that a good relationship is crucial for happiness and health to enjoy life well.
Also if we live life that we feel wrong it will be hard to feel content.
>>Also, if we live a life that feels wrong, it will be hard to feel content.
 The reason people think of much money and high social status first when we talk about success is they are easy to measure and compare. 
>>The reason why people often link success with wealth and high social status is because these factors are easily measured and compared.
It's easy to think "The reason I don't feel content is I don't have enough money and social status. I will be content if I have that much money and high social status." But I think that the real meaning of success is a life that we can content.
>>Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136464 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 244
136463 Places I have visited ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 300
136462 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 185
136461 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 139
136460 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 1
136459 homework 04.16 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 234
136458 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 1
136457 How do you like your career? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 272
136456 How do you believe getting enough sleep helps us be more... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 0
136455 Do you use English outside PowerEnglish? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 0
136454 What\'s the worst type of fashion you know? Write about it. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 138
136453 Please answer the following questions Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 722
136452 What do people enjoy doing in parks in your country? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 4
136451 Reflect on the concept of \"self-improvement.\" What steps do... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 262
136450 Homework Á¶*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 545
136449 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 297
136448 What major change would you like to make to your ? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 184
136447 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 141
136446 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 133
136445 What are the possible causes for having a vice? ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-16 158

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04