¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you define success?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*Àº
2024-07-16 383

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I guess successful life means a life we can content. And for that, we need money for survival, good relationships and health and we need to live life that we think is right. I heard that good relationship is crucial for happiness and health is important to enjoy life well. Also if we live life that we feel wrong it will be hard to feel content. The reason people think of much money and high social status first when we talk about success is they are easy to measure and compare. It's easy to think "The reason I don't feel content is I don't have enough money and social status. I will be content if I have that much money and high social status." But I think that the real meaning of success is a life that we can content.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Seong Eun~
I believe our definition of success varies with age... But the last line in your composition is absolutely right... 
Chammy
I guess successful life means a life we can content. 
And for that, we need money for survival, good relationships and health and we need to live life that we think is right. 
>>Correct
I heard that good relationship is crucial for happiness and health is important to enjoy life well.
>>I heard that a good relationship is crucial for happiness and health to enjoy life well.
Also if we live life that we feel wrong it will be hard to feel content.
>>Also, if we live a life that feels wrong, it will be hard to feel content.
 The reason people think of much money and high social status first when we talk about success is they are easy to measure and compare. 
>>The reason why people often link success with wealth and high social status is because these factors are easily measured and compared.
It's easy to think "The reason I don't feel content is I don't have enough money and social status. I will be content if I have that much money and high social status." But I think that the real meaning of success is a life that we can content.
>>Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137200 What job do you think is cool? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-15 127
137199 Homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-15 195
137198 2024.05.14 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-05-15 240
137197 homework ±è*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-05-15 3
137196 Do you often watch TV? What programs do you like to watch? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-15 105
137195 spend money ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-15 0
137194 Do you think children should be encouraged to specialize in one... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-15 102
137193 Do you think kids must watch musical? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-15 84
137192 How does it feel to grow up without any siblings? ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-15 1
137191 9.May.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-15 1
137190 What are you mostly optimistic/pessimistic about? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-15 98
137189 8.May.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-15 1
137188 Do you believe that virtual meetings are more or less effective?... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-15 267
137187 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-15 173
137186 How do people show politeness in your country? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-05-15 0
137185 Describe someone you respect ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-05-15 0
137184 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-15 138
137183 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-14 0
137182 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-14 1
137181 Passion ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-14 159

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04