¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you define success?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*Àº
2024-07-16 735

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I guess successful life means a life we can content. And for that, we need money for survival, good relationships and health and we need to live life that we think is right. I heard that good relationship is crucial for happiness and health is important to enjoy life well. Also if we live life that we feel wrong it will be hard to feel content. The reason people think of much money and high social status first when we talk about success is they are easy to measure and compare. It's easy to think "The reason I don't feel content is I don't have enough money and social status. I will be content if I have that much money and high social status." But I think that the real meaning of success is a life that we can content.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Seong Eun~
I believe our definition of success varies with age... But the last line in your composition is absolutely right... 
Chammy
I guess successful life means a life we can content. 
And for that, we need money for survival, good relationships and health and we need to live life that we think is right. 
>>Correct
I heard that good relationship is crucial for happiness and health is important to enjoy life well.
>>I heard that a good relationship is crucial for happiness and health to enjoy life well.
Also if we live life that we feel wrong it will be hard to feel content.
>>Also, if we live a life that feels wrong, it will be hard to feel content.
 The reason people think of much money and high social status first when we talk about success is they are easy to measure and compare. 
>>The reason why people often link success with wealth and high social status is because these factors are easily measured and compared.
It's easy to think "The reason I don't feel content is I don't have enough money and social status. I will be content if I have that much money and high social status." But I think that the real meaning of success is a life that we can content.
>>Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138781 Describe something you own which is very important to you ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-26 6
138780 depress ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-26 715
138779 What was your most memorable experience while traveling? ·ù*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-26 691
138778 Homwork ½Å*Á¾ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-26 0
138777 Age gap beneficial and hindrance ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-26 673
138776 Do you ever get confused with new technology? Give an example. Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-07-25 708
138775 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-25 1
138774 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-25 1
138773 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-25 649
138772 How do you make sure that you don\'t get sick? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-25 763
138771 Which region of your country has the best weather? What is it... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-25 802
138770 What things do you first notice about someone\'s appearance? ¼Û*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-07-25 905
138769 Do you ever get confused with new technology? Give an example. Àå*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-25 921
138768 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-25 1078
138767 What do you think of your sleeping habits? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-25 995
138766 Describe a moment when you had an argument or disagreement with... ¼Û*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-07-25 1091
138765 H.W À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-25 1
138764 What does John want to say? Explain what John wants to say by... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-25 0
138763 How the government support homeless ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-25 0
138762 The negative side of \" Are video games good for you? \" ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-25 1109

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04