¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½É*Áø
2024-07-16 647

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There are many tall buildings in the city, but they continue to build, so they create a lot of bad air in the process.
Also, although the government's strict policy, many people throw away their trash without recycling. so it causes air pollution and the environment becomes dirty, whether city or countryside they ends up being damaged. we have to interested in environment

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Mi Jin!

I'm sending you back your revised composition. I apprecaite your sending it. Please go over the corrections and alternative expressions provided. Speak to you again tomorrow! Enjoy the rest of your day! 


Cheers,
Jean~~



                       
                                 

                                What damage do cities do to the countryside?



There are many tall buildings in the city, but they continue to build, so they create a lot of bad air in the process.
>> There are many tall buildings in the city, but they continue to build more, which results in bad air quality. 

Also, although the government's strict policy, many people throw away their trash without recycling. 
>>  Also, despite the government's strict policy, many people don't dispose of their trash properly and don't recycle. 

so it causes air pollution and the environment becomes dirty, whether city or countryside they ends up being damaged. 
>> This pollutes not only the air but also the land and water so whether it's the city or the countryside, both end up being damaged. 

we have to interested in environment
>> Therefore, we have to show interest and pay attention to the environment. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134147 short ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 380
134146 What body language cues can indicate that a person is nervous? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 314
134145 What are the benefits you get from using a computer? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 533
134144 How do you express your anger at something or someone? Kindly... ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 0
134143 essay 10 ¼Û*½Â ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 175
134142 Do you need someone to remind you about your schedule? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 1
134141 My New Hobby ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 256
134140 Do you know someone who gets happy, angry, or sad when they... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 595
134139 homework 2024-01-24 ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 2
134138 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 334
134137 The risk of rental ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 701
134136 Homework do*eun ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 365
134135 Where do you usually meet new people? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 9
134134 When people move to another country, some of them decide to... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 0
134133 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 186
134132 Instead of sleeping, how would you like to spend that time? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 353
134131 Homework : \\ ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 396
134130 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 117
134129 homework 01.23 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 246
134128 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 130

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04