¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½É*Áø
2024-07-16 420

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There are many tall buildings in the city, but they continue to build, so they create a lot of bad air in the process.
Also, although the government's strict policy, many people throw away their trash without recycling. so it causes air pollution and the environment becomes dirty, whether city or countryside they ends up being damaged. we have to interested in environment

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Mi Jin!

I'm sending you back your revised composition. I apprecaite your sending it. Please go over the corrections and alternative expressions provided. Speak to you again tomorrow! Enjoy the rest of your day! 


Cheers,
Jean~~



                       
                                 

                                What damage do cities do to the countryside?



There are many tall buildings in the city, but they continue to build, so they create a lot of bad air in the process.
>> There are many tall buildings in the city, but they continue to build more, which results in bad air quality. 

Also, although the government's strict policy, many people throw away their trash without recycling. 
>>  Also, despite the government's strict policy, many people don't dispose of their trash properly and don't recycle. 

so it causes air pollution and the environment becomes dirty, whether city or countryside they ends up being damaged. 
>> This pollutes not only the air but also the land and water so whether it's the city or the countryside, both end up being damaged. 

we have to interested in environment
>> Therefore, we have to show interest and pay attention to the environment. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139612 What are the advantages of rushing things? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-01 1
139611 HOMEWORK FOR 08.30.2024 WRITING TASK: What was the best decision... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-01 2
139610 homework ¹Ú*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-01 1
139609 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-31 0
139608 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-31 0
139607 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-31 0
139606 Have you ever seen a traffic accident? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 0
139605 What is your opinion on the importance of learning a second... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 181
139604 How do you avoid arguments? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 180
139603 Have you ever been to a fancy dress / costume party? What was it... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 176
139602 2024.08.30 ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 181
139601 Solve the communication difficulty over the phone. ·ù*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 661
139600 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 172
139599 8/30(Fri) homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 177
139598 Popularity ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 161
139597 What was your memorable birthday? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 161
139596 8/29(Thu) homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 188
139595 Do you think foreign language study should start as early as... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 1
139594 second homework ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 169
139593 first homework ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 182

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04