¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½É*Áø
2024-07-16 468

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There are many tall buildings in the city, but they continue to build, so they create a lot of bad air in the process.
Also, although the government's strict policy, many people throw away their trash without recycling. so it causes air pollution and the environment becomes dirty, whether city or countryside they ends up being damaged. we have to interested in environment

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Mi Jin!

I'm sending you back your revised composition. I apprecaite your sending it. Please go over the corrections and alternative expressions provided. Speak to you again tomorrow! Enjoy the rest of your day! 


Cheers,
Jean~~



                       
                                 

                                What damage do cities do to the countryside?



There are many tall buildings in the city, but they continue to build, so they create a lot of bad air in the process.
>> There are many tall buildings in the city, but they continue to build more, which results in bad air quality. 

Also, although the government's strict policy, many people throw away their trash without recycling. 
>>  Also, despite the government's strict policy, many people don't dispose of their trash properly and don't recycle. 

so it causes air pollution and the environment becomes dirty, whether city or countryside they ends up being damaged. 
>> This pollutes not only the air but also the land and water so whether it's the city or the countryside, both end up being damaged. 

we have to interested in environment
>> Therefore, we have to show interest and pay attention to the environment. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140060 Homework ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 20
140059 Homework ³ë*ö ÁøÇàÁß 2024-09-25 21
140058 Someone once said: \"Anger is one letter short of danger.\" Do... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 0
140057 Have you been in a situation where you have to choose between... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 0
140056 23.Sep.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 0
140055 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 23
140054 If there are people that you do not want to come to your... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 22
140053 What was the last request someone made of you that you were... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 27
140052 Can you provide an example of a hobby that you consider a waste... ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 33
140051 Why is it important to ask for help when you need it? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 0
140050 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 0
140049 Should animal testing be illegal or legal? ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 35
140048 Why is it important to ask for help when you need it? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 1
140047 Homework 0924 ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 33
140046 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 32
140045 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 0
140044 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 0
140043 Trip alone ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 34
140042 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 1
140041 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04