무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

At what age do you think a person should be allowed to have a cell phone?

작성자: 김*주
2024-07-14 242

회원님의 영작문

In media, academic researches, and many articles, it is shown that smartphone use in early age groups can negatively effect children's physical health and intelligence. Regardless of age, using smartphones also carries the risks of phone addiction and exposure to abusive content, which can be more critical to children who lack self-control. In France, a bill that prohibits children under 13 from using smartphones is currently under review. Additionally, In Korea, the trend of 'Kids phone' is gaining popularity among parents, while mobile phone providers are highlighting parent-friendly features and functions such as remote content restriction. Therefore, I believe that smartphone use should be restricted for children under 10, and use of social media that can act as a deterrent to proper upbringing should be reconsidered for children until 18 as well.

Message after homework:
I really appreciate your support and the way you help me improve everyday!☺️ -MJ

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, MJ. Thank you for you sweet message and for always taking time doing your homework. I appreciate your kind words. Have a fun Monday! ^^
~T. Jewel
In media, academic researches, and many articles, it is shown that smartphone use in early age groups can negatively effect children's physical health and intelligence.
>>In media, academic research, and many articles, it is shown that smartphone use in early age groups can negatively affect children's physical health and intelligence
 Regardless of age, using smartphones also carries the risks of phone addiction and exposure to abusive content, which can be more critical to children who lack self-control.
>>Regardless of age, using smartphones also carries the risks of phone addiction and exposure to abusive content, which can be more critical for children who lack self-control.
In France, a bill that prohibits children under 13 from using smartphones is currently under review.
>>CORRECT
Additionally, In Korea, the trend of 'Kids phone' is gaining popularity among parents, while mobile phone providers are highlighting parent-friendly features and functions such as remote content restriction.
>>Additionally, in Korea, the trend of 'Kids' phones' is gaining popularity among parents, with mobile phone providers highlighting parent-friendly features and functions such as remote content restriction.
Therefore, I believe that smartphone use should be restricted for children under 10, and use of social media that can act as a deterrent to proper upbringing should be reconsidered for children until 18 as well.
>>Therefore, I believe that smartphone use should be restricted for children under 10, and the use of social media, which can deter proper upbringing, should also be reconsidered for children until they reach 18.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
138662 Is the traditional ways of behavior are no longer relevant to... 현* 완료 2024-07-22 200
138661 What are acceptable reasons for missing an appointment? 현* 완료 2024-07-22 201
138660 What was your first day at work like? 현* 완료 2024-07-22 222
138659 How frequently do you look at yourself in the mirror? How often... 현* 완료 2024-07-22 188
138658 How to decrease the crime rate 한*자 완료 2024-07-22 6
138657 Inside 2 권*희 완료 2024-07-22 188
138656 Do you usually share your problems with your friends? 최*정 완료 2024-07-22 2
138655 What do you think of high-end luxury brands? 최*정 완료 2024-07-22 4
138654 homework 이*수 완료 2024-07-22 236
138653 What do you think of the idea of naming babies after their... 권*지 완료 2024-07-22 1
138652 Right now, what is your concept of family? 권*지 완료 2024-07-22 1
138651 List down at least 5 things you expect to see and do in London. 권*지 완료 2024-07-22 2
138650 Homwork 신*종 완료 2024-07-22 0
138649 Prefer to driving 김*수 완료 2024-07-22 212
138648 Do you think snorkeling is a suitable activity for all ages?... 박*호 완료 2024-07-22 204
138647 HOMEWORK 정*환 진행중 2024-07-22 169
138646 Homework 김*님 완료 2024-07-22 163
138645 H.W 유*연 완료 2024-07-22 0
138644 vice 박*은 완료 2024-07-21 189
138643 How has vacationing with your family changed over the years? 박*은 완료 2024-07-21 179

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]