¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Write three good things about Seoul.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2024-07-11 212

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Seoul has a lot of buildings and the building is very high.
Seoul is developed and crowded.
Seoul is harmonized traditional things and modern things.
I like Seoul because it is the capital city of Korea.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Yale!

Here's your revised homework. Many thanks for sending it. Please take a look at the few revisions like adding comma, and alternative expressions provided, such as "highly developed" which is another word for "developed" and "congested" which is another word for "crowded". Have a good one!  


Cheers,
Jean~~




                       Write three good things about Seoul.


Seoul has a lot of buildings and the building is very high.
>> Seoul has a lot of buildings and the buildings are very high.

Seoul is developed and crowded.
>> OR: Seoul is highly developed and congested. 

Seoul is harmonized traditional things and modern things.
>> Seoul harmonizes traditional and modern things.

I like Seoul because it is the capital city of Korea.
>> CORRECT~~

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138665 Do you remember the first time you saw snow? How did you react? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 219
138664 good manners in korea °­*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 184
138663 HOMEWORK FOR 07.22.2024 WRITING TASK: How do you decide on your... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 2
138662 Is the traditional ways of behavior are no longer relevant to... Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 212
138661 What are acceptable reasons for missing an appointment? Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 215
138660 What was your first day at work like? Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 232
138659 How frequently do you look at yourself in the mirror? How often... Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 200
138658 How to decrease the crime rate ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 6
138657 Inside 2 ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 197
138656 Do you usually share your problems with your friends? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 2
138655 What do you think of high-end luxury brands? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 4
138654 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 246
138653 What do you think of the idea of naming babies after their... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 1
138652 Right now, what is your concept of family? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 1
138651 List down at least 5 things you expect to see and do in London. ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 2
138650 Homwork ½Å*Á¾ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 0
138649 Prefer to driving ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 217
138648 Do you think snorkeling is a suitable activity for all ages?... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 217
138647 HOMEWORK Á¤*ȯ ÁøÇàÁß 2024-07-22 179
138646 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 174

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04