¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½É*Áø
2024-07-11 1730

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Due to global warming, Korea changed from four seasons to two.
In addition, in summer getting hotter than before. So It's so humid that as soon as I hang the laundry. it dries fast speed.
plus i can find mold or many kind of bugs every where in my house I kept watching it
I can feel how sweet cold of winter is.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello again, Mi Jin!

I'm sending you back your revised composition. I apprecaite your sending it. Please go over the corrections and alternative expressions provided. Speak to you again tomorrow! Have a good evening! 


Cheers,
Jean~~



                       

John Steinbeck asked, "What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness." Do we need winter so that we appreciate summer?


Due to global warming, Korea changed from four seasons to two.
>> Due to global warming, Korea has changed from having four seasons to two.

In addition, in summer getting hotter than before. 
>> In addition, summer is getting hotter than before. 

So It's so humid that as soon as I hang the laundry. 
>> It's so humid that I can feel the humidity as soon as I hang the laundry. 

it dries fast speed.
>> So it dries fast. 

plus i can find mold or many kind of bugs every where in my house I kept watching it
>>  Plus, I can find molds or many kinds of bugs everywhere in my house. 

I can feel how sweet cold of winter is.
>> NOTE: My apologies but I don't know what this means. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138202 How do you celebrate small successes or milestones as you... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 1377
138201 Do you think the government should always check the prices and... ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 2116
138200 June 28th homehork ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 1490
138199 What is the best place for a vacation in your country? Why is it... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 2
138198 Q) What do you think of people who always work out? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 4
138197 One thing that I want to change about our culture ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 7
138196 Do you agree with the saying \'The customer is always right\'?... ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 1480
138195 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 0
138194 What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in the... Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 1444
138193 Are all-you-can-eat restaurants better than buffet restaurants?... ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 1427
138192 6/28 Homework ±Ç*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 1
138191 What is a delectable food you\'ve tasted that you cannot forget? ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 1563
138190 What is the most difficult circumstance you have had to... ¿À*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 0
138189 How do white lies impact trust and relationships, and where... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 1523
138188 HOMEWORK FOR 06.26.2024 WRITING TASK: What device or appliance... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 2
138187 HOMEWORK FOR 06.27.2024 WRITING TASK: What is the most famous... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 2
138186 HOMEWORK Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 1688
138185 HOMEWORK FOR 06.28.2024 WRITING TASK: What are the do\'s and... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 2
138184 Coffee- flavored food ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 1676
138183 What safety measures should be followed when practicing archery? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 1683

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04