¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½É*Áø
2024-07-11 273

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Due to global warming, Korea changed from four seasons to two.
In addition, in summer getting hotter than before. So It's so humid that as soon as I hang the laundry. it dries fast speed.
plus i can find mold or many kind of bugs every where in my house I kept watching it
I can feel how sweet cold of winter is.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello again, Mi Jin!

I'm sending you back your revised composition. I apprecaite your sending it. Please go over the corrections and alternative expressions provided. Speak to you again tomorrow! Have a good evening! 


Cheers,
Jean~~



                       

John Steinbeck asked, "What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness." Do we need winter so that we appreciate summer?


Due to global warming, Korea changed from four seasons to two.
>> Due to global warming, Korea has changed from having four seasons to two.

In addition, in summer getting hotter than before. 
>> In addition, summer is getting hotter than before. 

So It's so humid that as soon as I hang the laundry. 
>> It's so humid that I can feel the humidity as soon as I hang the laundry. 

it dries fast speed.
>> So it dries fast. 

plus i can find mold or many kind of bugs every where in my house I kept watching it
>>  Plus, I can find molds or many kinds of bugs everywhere in my house. 

I can feel how sweet cold of winter is.
>> NOTE: My apologies but I don't know what this means. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139647 When is the best time for you to spend time with your family and... ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 175
139646 Sorry ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 5
139645 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 183
139644 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 6
139643 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 182
139642 Nowadays, most countries improve their living standards through... do*eun ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 179
139641 Homework : What does yourname mean in your conutry? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 189
139640 What good party games do you know? How are they played? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 171
139639 Do you think holidays are important? Why? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 2
139638 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 179
139637 Friday ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 89
139636 9/2(Mon) homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 182
139635 What\'s the most innovative piece of technology you\'ve... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 178
139634 My special experience made up with someone ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 190
139633 What are the benefits of having foreign friends? ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 3
139632 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 0
139631 diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 3
139630 How do you avoid overthinking? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 1
139629 Ones that have taught me ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 2
139628 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 183

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04