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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2024-07-10 683

회원님의 영작문

Hi.
I had a peaceful day relatively.
I tried to teach Dr.J about laser treatment and botulinum toxin, but there were only a few chance to show him those procedures, nevertheless, he could do new treatments under my guidance.
To teach him, I let him do a vessel treatment laser on my face.
This laser treatment is basically painful, furthermore, he couldn't do that naturally, so I couldn't help but feel more serious pain.
Since there were not too many patients and no lunch conference, I could eat my lunch for a long time, and even I took a nap for about five minutes.
It was just like the hope about my happy future.
Dr.J looked so active and diligent.
Although I gave him a free time when he had no patient, he followed me and watched my care for patients.
Checking his chart after our work, I couldn't find any serious problem.
I know that I shouldn't believe anyone and any situation, but I feel so happy when I dream my free time in the future.
This is the key to remove my stress these days.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Dr. Kim!

I am glad that somehow, you took my advice. I hope that you got ample sleep and your day will be lighter until Saturday.

As you have detailed your Wednesday activity below, you were laser-focused in teaching all aspects of your treatment to Dr. J. Your work demands constant accurate practice thus, it is necessary to teach him exactly what he needs to do. More importantly, you have to remind him of the thing he should never do such as the mistakes made by Dr. MJ in the past. This way, you can eliminate future problems of complains and additional procedures.

The future is indeed looking bright as you share all that you can to your new doctors. Soon enough, you can take more vacation and days off. 

Of course, you have to be realistic as well. One day when you trained your doctors and they want to have their own clinic, you have to hire and train new ones and the possibility of experiencing the stress level you are encountering right now will repeat. Nevertheless, that day has not happened yet. Thus, keep teaching them well as their mentor.

As days go by, the new doctors will execute their procedures in the same way that you do. Your life will be so much easier in a couple of more weeks.

I am grateful for this composition. You must be beat again today, yet you managed to send a homework answer. As you can see, there are very good sentences composed of smooth transition and accurate grammar. For the rest of the comments, refer to the underscored words for your mastery. You did excellent!

See you again soon.

-T. Donna~

Hi.
>> Correct!

I had a peaceful day relatively.
>> Correct!

I tried to teach Dr.J about laser treatment and botulinum toxin, but there were only a few chance to show him those procedures, nevertheless, he could do new treatments under my guidance.
>> I tried to teach Dr.J about laser treatment and botulinum toxin, but there were only a few chances to show him those procedures, nevertheless, he could do new treatments under my guidance. Very good sentence!

To teach him, I let him do a vessel treatment laser on my face.
>> Correct!

This laser treatment is basically painful, furthermore, he couldn't do that naturally, so I couldn't help but feel more serious pain.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

Since there were not too many patients and no lunch conference, I could eat my lunch for a long time, and even I took a nap for about five minutes.
>> Correct!

It was just like the hope about my happy future.
>> Correct!

Dr.J looked so active and diligent.
>> Correct!

Although I gave him a free time when he had no patient, he followed me and watched my care for patients.
>> Correct!

Checking his chart after our work, I couldn't find any serious problem.
>> Correct!

I know that I shouldn't believe anyone and any situation, but I feel so happy when I dream my free time in the future.
>> I know that I shouldn't believe anyone and any situation, but I feel so happy when I dream (about/of) my free time in the future.

This is the key to remove my stress these days.
>> Correct!
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