¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2024-07-10 669

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi.
I had a peaceful day relatively.
I tried to teach Dr.J about laser treatment and botulinum toxin, but there were only a few chance to show him those procedures, nevertheless, he could do new treatments under my guidance.
To teach him, I let him do a vessel treatment laser on my face.
This laser treatment is basically painful, furthermore, he couldn't do that naturally, so I couldn't help but feel more serious pain.
Since there were not too many patients and no lunch conference, I could eat my lunch for a long time, and even I took a nap for about five minutes.
It was just like the hope about my happy future.
Dr.J looked so active and diligent.
Although I gave him a free time when he had no patient, he followed me and watched my care for patients.
Checking his chart after our work, I couldn't find any serious problem.
I know that I shouldn't believe anyone and any situation, but I feel so happy when I dream my free time in the future.
This is the key to remove my stress these days.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Dr. Kim!

I am glad that somehow, you took my advice. I hope that you got ample sleep and your day will be lighter until Saturday.

As you have detailed your Wednesday activity below, you were laser-focused in teaching all aspects of your treatment to Dr. J. Your work demands constant accurate practice thus, it is necessary to teach him exactly what he needs to do. More importantly, you have to remind him of the thing he should never do such as the mistakes made by Dr. MJ in the past. This way, you can eliminate future problems of complains and additional procedures.

The future is indeed looking bright as you share all that you can to your new doctors. Soon enough, you can take more vacation and days off. 

Of course, you have to be realistic as well. One day when you trained your doctors and they want to have their own clinic, you have to hire and train new ones and the possibility of experiencing the stress level you are encountering right now will repeat. Nevertheless, that day has not happened yet. Thus, keep teaching them well as their mentor.

As days go by, the new doctors will execute their procedures in the same way that you do. Your life will be so much easier in a couple of more weeks.

I am grateful for this composition. You must be beat again today, yet you managed to send a homework answer. As you can see, there are very good sentences composed of smooth transition and accurate grammar. For the rest of the comments, refer to the underscored words for your mastery. You did excellent!

See you again soon.

-T. Donna~

Hi.
>> Correct!

I had a peaceful day relatively.
>> Correct!

I tried to teach Dr.J about laser treatment and botulinum toxin, but there were only a few chance to show him those procedures, nevertheless, he could do new treatments under my guidance.
>> I tried to teach Dr.J about laser treatment and botulinum toxin, but there were only a few chances to show him those procedures, nevertheless, he could do new treatments under my guidance. Very good sentence!

To teach him, I let him do a vessel treatment laser on my face.
>> Correct!

This laser treatment is basically painful, furthermore, he couldn't do that naturally, so I couldn't help but feel more serious pain.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

Since there were not too many patients and no lunch conference, I could eat my lunch for a long time, and even I took a nap for about five minutes.
>> Correct!

It was just like the hope about my happy future.
>> Correct!

Dr.J looked so active and diligent.
>> Correct!

Although I gave him a free time when he had no patient, he followed me and watched my care for patients.
>> Correct!

Checking his chart after our work, I couldn't find any serious problem.
>> Correct!

I know that I shouldn't believe anyone and any situation, but I feel so happy when I dream my free time in the future.
>> I know that I shouldn't believe anyone and any situation, but I feel so happy when I dream (about/of) my free time in the future.

This is the key to remove my stress these days.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135510 My view on marriage ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 538
135509 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 736
135508 How does social media affect people\'s self-esteem? Share your... ÃÖ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 761
135507 How does education help make things fair for everyone, including... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 2
135506 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What is your... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 0
135505 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 729
135504 HOMEWORK Ȳ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 728
135503 Do you think soldiers and police officers are heroes? Why do you... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 1268
135502 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 882
135501 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 4
135500 What¡¯s the best movie you¡¯ve ever seen? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 841
135499 What egg dish do you like the most? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 767
135498 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 1059
135497 What annoys you most when you travel? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 801
135496 What is the implication of having an aging population? ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 685
135495 Have you ever experienced being completely wrong in your first... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 1038
135494 What are the health care problems in your country? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 1003
135493 stand ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 0
135492 Which is worse: Loud neighbors or nosy neighbors? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 1
135491 Would you rather be a celebrity or an influencer right now if... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04