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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Today\'s my homework

작성자: 이*도
2024-07-10 1313

회원님의 영작문

HOMEWORK:
DO YOU AGREE?
> People who live in apartments shouldn't own pets, why?

I agree with this opinion. People who have pets don't live in an apartments.
There are many reasons. The most important thing is cleanliness.
Even if they clean it as clean as they possible, they don't clean thier all fur, poop, and dirt.
Also, apartment is the place what many kind of people live. We don't know their animals hurt us or our babies.
And raising animals in apartments has a bad effect on animlas.
This environment makes them obese and lack of exercise and cuts their lives.
Therefore, i am against raising animals in apartments.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Happy Thursday, Mr. Lee!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.  I would have to agree and disagree with you.
Agree in a sense that has something to do with the apartment. Its structure and is it sound proof? Does it have a good facility for pets?
Regardless whether a pet is staying in apartment or not, they would still get enough exercise if their fur parents are willing to take them out.
Take care!
T. Aki~

DO YOU AGREE?
> People who live in apartments shouldn't own pets, why?

I agree with this opinion. People who have pets don't live in an apartments.
>>> I agree with this opinion. People who have pets don't live in apartments.

There are many reasons. The most important thing is cleanliness.
>>> CORRECT!

Even if they clean it as clean as they possible, they don't clean thier all fur, poop, and dirt.
>>> Even if they clean it as clean as they are possible, they don't clean their all fur, poop, and dirt.

Also, apartment is the place what many kind of people live. We don't know their animals hurt us or our babies.
>>> Also, an apartment is a place where many kinds of people live. We don't know if their animals hurt us or our babies.

And raising animals in apartments has a bad effect on animals.
>>> CORRECT!

This environment makes them obese and lack of exercise and cuts their lives.
>>> This environment makes them obese and lack exercise and cuts their lives.

Therefore, i am against raising animals in apartments.
>>> Therefore, I am against raising animals in apartments.
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04