¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think electricity is the greatest invention ever?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼ø
2024-07-10 902

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

How many inventions are there ever?
I searched for them online.
There are so many them over the world,
Some of them, fire, money, wagon wheel, are the great inventions in modern civilization,
However,personally,electricity is the greatest invention in the convenience of modern civilization.
I don't want to imagine my life without electricity.
I make sure ,it also led to the modern industrial development of civilization.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Young Soon!
Make sure you use direct and simple sentences.
Make your point clear and avoid using sentences that are too long and confusing.
Take note of the sentence patterns below.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
How many inventions are there ever?
>> Correct
I searched for them online.
>> Correct
There are so many them over the world,
>> There are so many of them all over the world.
Some of them, fire, money, wagon wheel, are the great inventions in modern civilization,
>> Some of them like fire, money and wagon wheel are great inventions in modern civilization.
However,personally,electricity is the greatest invention in the convenience of modern civilization.
>> However, personally, electricity is the greatest invention that contributed to the convenience of modern civilization.
I don't want to imagine my life without electricity.
>> Correct
I make sure ,it also led to the modern industrial development of civilization.
>> I am also sure that it led to the modern industrial development of civilization.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137538 HOMEWORK ÁÖ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-05-31 1056
137537 Home work ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-05-31 766
137536 HOMEWORK FOR 05.31.2024 DIRECTIONS: Please use the words in a... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-31 5
137535 Homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-31 1102
137534 Potential benefits of hiring foreign-liscensed doctors ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-31 1124
137533 29.May.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-31 0
137532 When did you first visit this place? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-05-31 0
137531 Do you think women should be able to do the same jobs that men... ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-05-31 3
137530 Secondhand smoke ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-31 1416
137529 What is a \'canon event\'? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-30 1066
137528 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-30 670
137527 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-30 1369
137526 Which place in Korea is the best place for a spring vacation?... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-30 1107
137525 homework 05.30 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-05-30 976
137524 How do you give reviews to the restaurants or hotels you\'ve... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-30 1
137523 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-30 2
137522 Who is your favorite marvel superhero? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-05-30 918
137521 What is your favorites season and why? ½Å*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-30 2
137520 Can a hobby be dangerous? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-30 1262
137519 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-30 1112

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04