¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think electricity is the greatest invention ever?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼ø
2024-07-10 449

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

How many inventions are there ever?
I searched for them online.
There are so many them over the world,
Some of them, fire, money, wagon wheel, are the great inventions in modern civilization,
However,personally,electricity is the greatest invention in the convenience of modern civilization.
I don't want to imagine my life without electricity.
I make sure ,it also led to the modern industrial development of civilization.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Young Soon!
Make sure you use direct and simple sentences.
Make your point clear and avoid using sentences that are too long and confusing.
Take note of the sentence patterns below.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
How many inventions are there ever?
>> Correct
I searched for them online.
>> Correct
There are so many them over the world,
>> There are so many of them all over the world.
Some of them, fire, money, wagon wheel, are the great inventions in modern civilization,
>> Some of them like fire, money and wagon wheel are great inventions in modern civilization.
However,personally,electricity is the greatest invention in the convenience of modern civilization.
>> However, personally, electricity is the greatest invention that contributed to the convenience of modern civilization.
I don't want to imagine my life without electricity.
>> Correct
I make sure ,it also led to the modern industrial development of civilization.
>> I am also sure that it led to the modern industrial development of civilization.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135915 How often do you get sick in a year? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 244
135914 Why is it important to treat others with respect? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 2
135913 What is the importance of family gatherings? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 0
135912 What places do you know that are overcrowded? How often do you... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 173
135911 Travel back in time ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 198
135910 Take Three Things To Desert Island ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 274
135909 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 210
135908 What are the pros and cons of international marriage? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 147
135907 Which greeting kinds of annoys you? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 247
135906 Making time for my loved ones ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 222
135905 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 5
135904 What was the most memorable advice you have received from a... ¼Û*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 119
135903 HW ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 247
135902 HOMEWORK: Describe your dream place to live. ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 238
135901 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 412
135900 HOMEWORK: How difficult do you think it is to live as a... ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 439
135899 HOMEWORK: What do you think about putting in effort but no... ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 294
135898 blame ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 369
135897 Vocabulary ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 430
135896 Would you always care to fulfill the requests of your family and... ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04