¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Describe the decoration of your bedroom.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Çõ
2024-07-09 1389

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Many doll and Korean fomous writer's sign are hanging in my bedroom.
There are many books in my room but I have not finished reading the books.
And a picture draw by my mom is hanging on the wall.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Jimmy!

Here's your revised composition fom Monday's homework. Thank you for sending it. Please go over the revisions given below, such as avoiding using the same word in the same sentence. See you later! 


Cheers,
Jean~~




                                  

                             Describe the decoration of your bedroom.


Many doll and Korean fomous writer's sign are hanging in my bedroom.
>> Many dolls and Korean famous writers' autographs are hanging in my bedroom.

There are many books in my room but I have not finished reading the books.
>> There are many books in my room but I have not finished reading them yet. 

And a picture draw by my mom is hanging on the wall.
>> And a picture drawn by my mom is hanging on the wall. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138292 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-05 1824
138291 Have you ever been to a live comedy show? How was it? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-05 1864
138290 Espresso ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-05 1653
138289 How do young people in your culture behave differently from... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-07-05 1273
138288 Page.9 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-05 0
138287 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-04 2
138286 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-04 0
138285 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-04 2
138284 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-04 3
138283 What are the Pros and Cons of being rich? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-04 1661
138282 Do you ever think about how precious water is? Why is it... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-07-04 1997
138281 How would you recommend treating a cold? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-04 1610
138280 Do you think young children need to have their own gadgets, such... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-04 1667
138279 What are the things you do after school? Write at least two. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-04 2255
138278 Yes ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-04 1393
138277 If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-04 0
138276 What is a relaxing vacation for you? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-04 1
138275 Some people think that it is fine for professional sportsmen and... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-04 1920
138274 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-04 1647
138273 Q) How does society\'s reverence for historical figures through... ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-04 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04