¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Describe the decoration of your bedroom.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Çõ
2024-07-09 570

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Many doll and Korean fomous writer's sign are hanging in my bedroom.
There are many books in my room but I have not finished reading the books.
And a picture draw by my mom is hanging on the wall.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Jimmy!

Here's your revised composition fom Monday's homework. Thank you for sending it. Please go over the revisions given below, such as avoiding using the same word in the same sentence. See you later! 


Cheers,
Jean~~




                                  

                             Describe the decoration of your bedroom.


Many doll and Korean fomous writer's sign are hanging in my bedroom.
>> Many dolls and Korean famous writers' autographs are hanging in my bedroom.

There are many books in my room but I have not finished reading the books.
>> There are many books in my room but I have not finished reading them yet. 

And a picture draw by my mom is hanging on the wall.
>> And a picture drawn by my mom is hanging on the wall. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137432 Page.33 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 1
137431 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-26 2
137430 homework ±è*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-05-26 1
137429 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-26 642
137428 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-05-26 1
137427 Which country do you think is the best place to travel to? Why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-26 499
137426 Do you think MBTI is important? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-26 1
137425 Is it a bad thing to look like your brother or sister? Explain. Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-26 537
137424 howework ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-26 694
137423 HOMEWORK ÁÖ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-05-26 318
137422 What is more important when it comes to clothing, comfort or... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-25 572
137421 Are men better drivers than women? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-25 572
137420 Do you need an alarm clock to wake up? ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-25 738
137419 Writing Task: What helps you get to sleep? ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-25 571
137418 The way to veteran ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-25 745
137417 Why is honesty important? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 519
137416 homework 05.24 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 598
137415 Protecting the natural environment ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 679
137414 What is the most popular mobile game in your country? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 888
137413 Why do our dreams change as we grow older? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-24 960

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04