¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Describe the decoration of your bedroom.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Çõ
2024-07-09 279

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Many doll and Korean fomous writer's sign are hanging in my bedroom.
There are many books in my room but I have not finished reading the books.
And a picture draw by my mom is hanging on the wall.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Jimmy!

Here's your revised composition fom Monday's homework. Thank you for sending it. Please go over the revisions given below, such as avoiding using the same word in the same sentence. See you later! 


Cheers,
Jean~~




                                  

                             Describe the decoration of your bedroom.


Many doll and Korean fomous writer's sign are hanging in my bedroom.
>> Many dolls and Korean famous writers' autographs are hanging in my bedroom.

There are many books in my room but I have not finished reading the books.
>> There are many books in my room but I have not finished reading them yet. 

And a picture draw by my mom is hanging on the wall.
>> And a picture drawn by my mom is hanging on the wall. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137592 The most valuable lesson from past challenges ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-04 176
137591 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-04 239
137590 How do we stop the idea that people with disabilities should be... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-04 195
137589 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 215
137588 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 2
137587 WiBro ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 203
137586 What is traditional food in your country? ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 206
137585 Waiting does not know end ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 1684
137584 homework 06.03 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 83
137583 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 0
137582 Hobby ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 57
137581 What is your favorite snack? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 229
137580 2024.06.03 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 0
137579 homework ±è*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 1
137578 Question suggestions ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 159
137577 Mar 31th\'s homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 168
137576 hw ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 1
137575 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 136
137574 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 2
137573 5/31 Home work Àå*ÈÞ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-03 166

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04