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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Do you see playing the guitar as a hobby or a potential career path? Why?

작성자: 박*호
2024-07-09 774

회원님의 영작문

I've wanted to learn to play the guitar for a long time, ever since I watched my friends sing while playing the guitar in college.
I've been so busy that I haven't had any free time, but I'm thinking of learning to play the guitar soon.
The purpose of learning to play guitar is, of course, a hobby.
I have dreamed of learning to play the guitar and singing and playing my favorite songs in my free time.
But recently, another reason arose for me to learn how to play the guitar.
These days, a new trend has emerged in Korean weddings.
Unlike in the past, there is no officiant at the wedding, and instead of the officiating speech, the bride and groom's parents speak about the marriage, which most guests find very boring.
So I came up with an idea that I would play guitar at my daughter's wedding.
I think it would be a really special memory if the bride's father plays guitar at the wedding.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hey there, Sun! 

Playing guitar is not only a fun hobby, but it can also have numerous benefits for mental health. Studies have shown that playing an instrument, in general, can reduce stress, boost creativity and confidence, improve cognitive function, and enhance social connections.

- Kristine ^^ 

I've wanted to learn to play the guitar for a long time, ever since I watched my friends sing while playing the guitar in college.
>> I've wanted to learn to play the guitar for a long time, ever since I watched my friends sing while playing guitar in college.
I've been so busy that I haven't had any free time, but I'm thinking of learning to play the guitar soon.
>> I've been so busy that I haven't had any free time, but I'm considering learning to play the guitar soon.
The purpose of learning to play guitar is, of course, a hobby.
>> Of course, learning to play the guitar is for fun.
I have dreamed of learning to play the guitar and singing and playing my favorite songs in my free time.
>> I've always wanted to learn the guitar and spend my free time singing and performing my favorite tunes.
But recently, another reason arose for me to learn how to play the guitar.
>> However, I now have an additional motivation to learn how to play the guitar.
These days, a new trend has emerged in Korean weddings.
>> There's a new wedding trend in Korea these days.
Unlike in the past, there is no officiant at the wedding, and instead of the officiating speech, the bride and groom's parents speak about the marriage, which most guests find very boring.
>> Unlike in the past, there is no officiant at the wedding; instead, the bride and groom's parents give a speech about their marriage, which is extremely dull to most of the guests.
So I came up with an idea that I would play guitar at my daughter's wedding.
>> I therefore had the bright idea to play a guitar at my daughter's wedding.
I think it would be a really special memory if the bride's father plays guitar at the wedding.
>> The bride's father playing guitar at the wedding seems like a truly unique memory.
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전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
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04

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