¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½É*Áø
2024-07-06 567

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

my apartment is location around factory.
so there are many inconvenient things to live. for example i have to endure noisy and bad air .
The biggest drawback is that there are no good facilities around.
If we want to hang out with our friends, we walk to the city a lot
I have to go to the city called Daegu, which is close to me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Mi Jin!

I'm sending you back your corrected essay. Thank you for sending it. Please go through the correction provided. Speak to you next class! Have a good one! 


Cheers,
Jean~~




                                 


                           Please tell me about the place where you live. Describe your house. Where is it located? Describe it in as much detail as possible.



my apartment is location around factory. so there are many inconvenient things to live. for example i have to endure noisy and bad air .
>> My apartment is located in a factory area so there are many inconveniences, for example, I have to endure the noise and bad air quality.

The biggest drawback is that there are no good facilities around.
>> CORRECT~~

If we want to hang out with our friends, we walk to the city a lot
>> If we want to hang out with our friends, we have to endure a long-distance walk to the city. 

I have to go to the city called Daegu, which is close to me.
>> I have to go to the city called Daegu, which is close to our district.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133482 People are becoming too dependent on the Internet and phone is a... Àå*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 394
133481 Which celebrity would you like to swap places with? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 2
133480 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 304
133479 Homework 12/22 ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 1
133478 What do you think is the most dangerous sport? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 426
133477 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Is it important... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 1
133476 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 0
133475 Is it better to save your allowance or spend it? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 362
133474 Homework : unit 15 ¹Ú*³ª ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 1
133473 Traditional ways of welcoming the New Year in my family. ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 384
133472 What can you say about your neighbor\'s standard of living? Are... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 347
133471 Is celebrating Christmas important in your family? Why or why... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 556
133470 Trust ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 284
133469 >> What is the best place for a vacation in your country? Why is... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 6
133468 Are there any specific foods or drinks you believe contribute to... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 215
133467 What do you think are the worst fears? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 309
133466 I don\'t like video game! ¼­*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 399
133465 How do you usually celebrate your birthday? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 0
133464 Can you tell me about your favorite movie? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-26 2
133463 Do you prefer the mountains or the beach? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-26 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04