¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½É*Áø
2024-07-06 966

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

my apartment is location around factory.
so there are many inconvenient things to live. for example i have to endure noisy and bad air .
The biggest drawback is that there are no good facilities around.
If we want to hang out with our friends, we walk to the city a lot
I have to go to the city called Daegu, which is close to me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Mi Jin!

I'm sending you back your corrected essay. Thank you for sending it. Please go through the correction provided. Speak to you next class! Have a good one! 


Cheers,
Jean~~




                                 


                           Please tell me about the place where you live. Describe your house. Where is it located? Describe it in as much detail as possible.



my apartment is location around factory. so there are many inconvenient things to live. for example i have to endure noisy and bad air .
>> My apartment is located in a factory area so there are many inconveniences, for example, I have to endure the noise and bad air quality.

The biggest drawback is that there are no good facilities around.
>> CORRECT~~

If we want to hang out with our friends, we walk to the city a lot
>> If we want to hang out with our friends, we have to endure a long-distance walk to the city. 

I have to go to the city called Daegu, which is close to me.
>> I have to go to the city called Daegu, which is close to our district.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135529 In your opinion, what is the ideal length of a vacation or trip... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 983
135528 Looking for advice online ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 771
135527 Do you allow other people to suddenly fix your hair or wipe the... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 4
135526 Should you always give an \"update\" to your boyfriend if you... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 4
135525 Describe an important choice you had to make in your life ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 0
135524 How do you treat your friends? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 0
135523 homework - it is not easy to ahieve our life. ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 836
135522 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 755
135521 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 2
135520 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 943
135519 ÆòÀÏ°ú ÁÖ¸»ÀÇ ¼ö¸é ½À°üÀº ¾î¶»°Ô ´Ù¸£¸ç ÀÌ·¯ÇÑ º¯È­°¡ ±âºÐ¿¡... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 1285
135518 What makes online shopping better than offline shopping? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 3
135517 question and homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 527
135516 homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 803
135515 To what extent do you agree or disagree that gamers gain... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 481
135514 How did this stroke of luck change your perspective or approach... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 1077
135513 homework 03.14 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 753
135512 Do you think children need pocket money when they go to school?... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 0
135511 What do you feel when you lose in a video game? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 915
135510 My view on marriage ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 536

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04