¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½É*Áø
2024-07-05 1783

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

if you go to the gym and ride a station bike regually You can lose weight in a short period of time.
Excessive dieting is not good for your health.
but ,we need to control our diet.

n the past, if you excel at one thing, you get a job. But not these days.


She is already excell at singing.
though, I don't stop trying.

I presently like the actor since I fell in love with him in the movie.

before i live in studio apartment,
i want to be live in there but now is not

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Mi Jin!

I'm sending you back your corrected essay. Thank you for sending it. Please go through the correction provided. Speak to you again next week! Good night! 


Cheers,
Jean~~




                                 


                     Make sentences using the words and expressions below, including the conjunctions given:


if you go to the gym and ride a station bike regually You can lose weight in a short period of time.
>> If you go to the gym and ride a stationary bike regularly, you can lose weight in a short period of time.

Excessive dieting is not good for your health.
>> CORRECT~~

but ,we need to control our diet.
>> But we still need to control our diet. 

n the past, if you excel at one thing, you get a job. But not these days.
>> In the past, you excelled at one thing, you could get a job, but not these days. 

She is already excell at singing.
>> She is already excellent at singing.
>> OR: She already excels at singing. 

though, I don't stop trying.
>> OR: Though I don't stop trying, I still can't achieve my goal. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137868 13.Jun.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-17 5
137867 Do you think you should tip the staff in restaurants? Why or why... ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-06-17 1445
137866 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-16 2
137865 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-16 1
137864 How important are first impressions to you? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-16 1664
137863 Who is the scariest person you know? Explain your answer. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-16 1659
137862 Generally, what do kids in Korea want to be when they grow up?... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-16 1880
137861 stand out ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-16 1
137860 Home work ÀÓ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-16 1894
137859 HOMEWORK Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-15 2321
137858 Free time ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-15 0
137857 In the morning ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-15 0
137856 Do you think people should have cosmetic surgery to enhance... ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 1434
137855 1 ¿ì*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 1
137854 How to effectively save money for the future? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 1991
137853 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 1987
137852 K-drama ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 2363
137851 2024.06.13 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 1845
137850 2024.06.14 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 2
137849 HOMEWORK ÁÖ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 2026

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04