¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½É*Áø
2024-07-05 995

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

if you go to the gym and ride a station bike regually You can lose weight in a short period of time.
Excessive dieting is not good for your health.
but ,we need to control our diet.

n the past, if you excel at one thing, you get a job. But not these days.


She is already excell at singing.
though, I don't stop trying.

I presently like the actor since I fell in love with him in the movie.

before i live in studio apartment,
i want to be live in there but now is not

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Mi Jin!

I'm sending you back your corrected essay. Thank you for sending it. Please go through the correction provided. Speak to you again next week! Good night! 


Cheers,
Jean~~




                                 


                     Make sentences using the words and expressions below, including the conjunctions given:


if you go to the gym and ride a station bike regually You can lose weight in a short period of time.
>> If you go to the gym and ride a stationary bike regularly, you can lose weight in a short period of time.

Excessive dieting is not good for your health.
>> CORRECT~~

but ,we need to control our diet.
>> But we still need to control our diet. 

n the past, if you excel at one thing, you get a job. But not these days.
>> In the past, you excelled at one thing, you could get a job, but not these days. 

She is already excell at singing.
>> She is already excellent at singing.
>> OR: She already excels at singing. 

though, I don't stop trying.
>> OR: Though I don't stop trying, I still can't achieve my goal. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138004 Pronouncing vowels ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 1117
138003 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 1159
138002 Traveling with my husband ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 1186
138001 Public Transportation Crisis; Bus and Tube ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 1640
138000 How to rent in UK; Viewing and Referencing ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 1403
137999 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 1154
137998 My dream of the future °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 1299
137997 Although parents are responsible for raising a child, outside... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 1446
137996 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 1
137995 How do you encourage others to follow good habits or practices? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 889
137994 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 933
137993 HOMEWORK ÁÖ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 1023
137992 If I could celebrate my birthday the way I wanted ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 838
137991 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 1
137990 Do you enjoy meeting new people? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 907
137989 Have you ever had a bad experience with ice cream? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 975
137988 Could you live without your smartphone (or other technology... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 856
137987 HOMEWORK Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 810
137986 2024.06.21 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 3
137985 double-edged sword ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 959

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04